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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 22

    Study: Average American Tries Getting Out Of 10,000 Things Each Year https://trib.al/Q1OmVka pic.twitter.com/sUBaK4IZk3

    7:25 AM - 22 Jun 2018
    • 152 Retweets
    • 995 Likes
    • Chugs Nation Hood Politician T.Aubrey emily Dan Dan Jonathan Green Rat Fink 🇦🇺 Lee Kelcey Zacarese
    12 replies 152 retweets 995 likes
      1. David T List‏ @DavidTList Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/UYEVsoaY02

        0 replies 1 retweet 9 likes
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      1. LatinDaze‏ @LatinDaze Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yup, which is why I'm not going to read the rest of this story 🤣😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Zildjian 65 🥁‏ @Zildjian65YT Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Best part is, it’s probably true lol

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Extraordinary Machine‏ @next_mom_up Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I was going to read this, I promise, but my bro needs me to fell out his air soft team, so....

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Extraordinary Machine‏ @next_mom_up Jun 22
        Replying to @next_mom_up @TheOnion

        Fill. Argh

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Tommy McPines‏ @TMcpines Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Nothing to Fitbit

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jack Dole‏ @TheNorseGodTyr Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Haha

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Lee Takamiya‏ @leet793 Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        10,000? Pffft...Amateur.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Pro B‏ @UnrealPros Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oh man are these coupons in the mail?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Dean N‏ @dnick96 Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I have to cut the lawn. Had to for 3 days now. Thinking about buying a goat. Have to go and get goat. I wonder if I just leave the lawn the snow will take care of it in December. I have to take a nap and think about all this.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Michael Levine‏ @LeMichaelLevine Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "or more than one obligation per hour..." That is funny! This isn't:pic.twitter.com/fyv2qN0Tnk

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Dactylion‏ @RaisedDactylion Jun 22
        Replying to @LeMichaelLevine @TheOnion

        *claim to find something irrelevant to your agenda “funny” *insert concern porn *repeat ad nauseam

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Dactylion‏ @RaisedDactylion Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I just got out of jury duty. I’m doing my part.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1.  🙌 Wu Gambino  🐝‏ @protektyaneck36 Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Nothing gives me more joy.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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