Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 21

    Report: Burying, Cremating Baby Boomers To Generate $200 Trillion In GDP https://trib.al/KQ5kprv pic.twitter.com/jSsiYKETPL

    6:28 PM - 21 Jun 2018
    • 278 Retweets
    • 1,209 Likes
    • Terri Mercer Hood Politician Charles A Lundquist wwwmarion Pierre-Simon Laplace Anya Ferris spookyburps 💓 SureshThakshila💓 The Indeterminator🌹
    27 replies 278 retweets 1,209 likes
      1. Boten Red Wolf‏ @penguinfishbowl Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        ...and a general increase in the stability of the economy and society

        0 replies 0 retweets 33 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Will (he/him/his) 🏳️‍🌈 #LGBTQIA‏ @WillPolitico Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I work, therefore I urn.......

        0 replies 0 retweets 15 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Davers  🇨🇦‏ @DaveMunro76 Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Too soon, :(

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Adam Fowler‏ @adamfowler23 Jun 21
        Replying to @DaveMunro76 @TheOnion

        Not soon enough

        0 replies 0 retweets 11 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1.  🎃「Atomic」 🎃‏ @Maxthetics Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Is this loss

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Randal Carlson‏ @randal_carlson Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        A nice report, but pretty sure the Boomers’ plan is for us all to be entombed alive in their golden pyramid

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. NYAN INCH NAILS‏ @Kamunt Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        hell yea

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Sir Bobby Danger‏ @KingOfWinning Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Can’t Hardly Wait

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Amoroso the Cow King @Blizzcon2018‏ @LogarthSheppy Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        ....go on?

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Nathan Rodriguez‏ @ParagHatzNate Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Local stoner out of mind at thought of $200 Trillion in GDP

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tom N. 🌹‏ @returnoftom Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If we do it all today we could save the country.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tommy McPines‏ @TMcpines Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Live hard leftovers

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. ORCA7‏ @Orca7Tweet Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5meyAvvjhyU …

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Alex Preiss‏ @AlexPreiss4 Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Here is some sweet cash for "The Onion." Baby Boomers should be able to post their ashes on "Onion Social."

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Night Gallery Enjoyer‏ @iantrobertson Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The Biggest Chill

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tony D‏ @biff725 Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'm putting mine in a Bullet Proof Bong, then I'll watch the fun from wherever I end up, lol

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Mitchel Durnell‏ @MitchelDurnell Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion @BAKKOOONN

        Founding Deadr, the Uber of hearses

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Laura Duhan-Kaplan‏ @OnSophiaStreet Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        No joke. Have you looked into the cost of buying a plot lately?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Butch Kitchens‏ @ButchKitchens Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Story dated 2014

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info