Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 21

    Onion Social CEO Caught By Law Enforcement At Miami Airport With $800,000 In Cash https://trib.al/Dm5Keiv pic.twitter.com/6ze31PfIq7

    11:19 AM - 21 Jun 2018
    • 68 Retweets
    • 799 Likes
    • Rajat Suresh 𝕾𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖉𝖆𝖓𝖆𝖓𝖉 Jim Dyin cuz stabbed ford nay nay Synonym Will Never Shine Puns Thicc Mints William Stanton Just Little Old Me!
    28 replies 68 retweets 799 likes
      1. That One Guy‏ @thatoneguy2440 Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        In the short span we heard about this man, he's done amazing things.

        0 replies 0 retweets 22 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Original account name‏ @Originalaccoun3 Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Well that escalated quickly.

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. SteveMcG‏ @lawnys09 Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It would have been 1m but he had just bought lunch..

        0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. (((poochie)))‏ @PoochieChiles Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You can break all the laws as an employee of the onion and no one would believe it.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. SKVM Shipping‏ @SKVMShipping Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        real tragedy when man is caught before his prime crime

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. We Gonna Be Alright‏ @RobFromSac Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Uncuff him! He brought us out of the dark ages!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Dream Cloud Productions‏ @Javinorr527 Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        So i take it the Miami police don’t like the smell of onions

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. RRM‏ @RonnieM83 Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This guy's been busy...he gets around

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Deliciou5‏ @Deliciou5 Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is not even satire, the government genuinely doesn't want you to have large amounts of cash on you they want to control money.

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Spooky Man With a Spooky Plan‏ @90908_Destroyer Jun 21
        Replying to @Deliciou5 @TheOnion

        ...that is how currency works, though?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Deliciou5‏ @Deliciou5 Jun 21
        Replying to @90908_Destroyer @TheOnion

        When you try to take more than 5000$ out of the bank you have to sign all this paper work and you cannot take out more than that.They don't want you having large amounts of PHYSICAL cash on you,if the police stop you and you have like 100k on you they could confiscate it off you.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. Spooky Man With a Spooky Plan‏ @90908_Destroyer Jun 21
        Replying to @Deliciou5 @TheOnion

        I mean in what world are you carrying around that much money around? Just gonna bring around my life savings in this briefcase.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. Deliciou5‏ @Deliciou5 Jun 21
        Replying to @90908_Destroyer @TheOnion

        The law was basically trying to go after drug dealers, just think its bullshit that if you wanted to take YOUR money YOU OWN out, you couldn't. It's the principal.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      7. End of conversation
      1. Grimm‏ @GrimmReaper101 Jun 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He was caught fraternizing with an employee and arrested

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jack Dole‏ @TheNorseGodTyr Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They didn't find a thumb drive with pictures of all our genitals on it did they?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Rando Gammon‏ @RandoThreat Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It was just a matter of time.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Wayne Turner‏ @MulliganMullet Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        ...and to think I was just starting to enjoy using the #OnionSocial platform!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Watch_Doggo  🐕 🤬‏ @Borowng Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        End of an era.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jake‏ @SleepyHeadJake Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Book em, Danno!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. couchtripper‏ @couchtripper Jun 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I've been watching this story develop without realising I was part of something this BIG. It's so cool to be in the know!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info