Took me 15 years to lose my faith in humanity. This kid is clearly smarter than me
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That is one smart baby can we get him like somewhere where he can be safe and protected? We need him for the future he must be special
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We need to give him a twitter account so he can share his wisdom
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Do you work for
@TheOnion too??

#ToT#TeamOnionTeampic.twitter.com/YprQGargHN
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He had a good run.
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My wife and I say this about our toddler son, whenever he’s about to attempt something...let’s call it, Not evolutionary sound.
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Lmao you thought he had a chance, thought he was gonna make it, then you saw him try to pull that stunt off, and you’re like, nope , not a chance
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*Googles local social security office* might as well get him signed up on disability now, having the government take care of him for forever is probably the only hope he has of gainful employment , especially in this society, I mean have you seen the place? Let’s get him a check.
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@ShillyJoel I’m turning this into#CryptoOnion I swear




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Nope! I was abandoned at birth. Took me all of less than a day. I "win."
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I don't know whether to say "I'm so sorry" or " congratulations"??
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The Onion but still, accurate!
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What took them so long?
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She just found out the country she's born into has Baby Prisons.
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No wonder, he's been in ICE lockup for 5 of those days
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I imagine some of those infants in "tender age" detention facilities are feeling similarly.
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