He obviously found the One Ring and is refusing to take it to Mordor.
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Sadly this article could be true.
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This is my point exactly. I mean how fucked up is the world when the guys at The Onion are sitting around a table making shit up and at the same time those make believe events are BREAKING NEWS on the major news outlets?
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this guy has NO Business of being a Politician or holding ANY office.
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oh my god
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Onion has to go super dark it’s the only way to top the real news
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The Onion: Further proof that if we didn't laugh, we'd break something (or someone).
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Obviously not something Jeff Sessions would do. Manual labor would cause callouses on his soft elfish palms. That's what cheap prison labor is for.
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You’ve been warned about reporting real news on this feed.
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Why is this on the onion? It's true.
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Just because he was yanked off the lawn he and his family hung out on, yet managed to become
@AGJeffBSessions he does not comprehend the struggle.#MAGA#TheNarcasistPrayer not in the#Biblepic.twitter.com/gQsGsOyNTZ
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Haha and all, but in a sense Trump administrator is doing whole boiling the frog thing with America. Step by step driving in their more sinister policies they want.
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The water is boiling already.
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