Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 16

    Report: Nothing Stopping You From Deleting Your Facebook Account Right Now https://trib.al/MohRvWH pic.twitter.com/zgWQBi2Tf5

    3:19 PM - 16 Jun 2018
    • 581 Retweets
    • 2,230 Likes
    • Death to the Knights of Malta Rick Vale Shahnawaz Ivan Živković Mason Sheats Arianna🌔 Purajit Malalur Erin Shellman Andrew Benintendi fan account
    45 replies 581 retweets 2,230 likes
      1. .‏ @biteApo Jun 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/DonDlGEYUg

        0 replies 0 retweets 15 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. The Scarier Pib‏ @PibPasquale Jun 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        except for the fact that you can't delete your account, only deactivate it

        3 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
      3. foehn_nippiest‏ @FNippiest Jun 16
        Replying to @PibPasquale @TheOnion

        When I did it, they let you delete it, but only after you don’t sign in for two weeks. Which is kind of sketchy, but it’s done.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Abby‏ @abbynemo922 Jun 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Just deleted off my phone...baby steps. I want to be rid of it!

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Geoffrey Fourmyle‏ @GFourmyle Jun 17
        Replying to @abbynemo922 @TheOnion

        The app has been off my phone for a few months I never miss it! And I only sign on over a VPN from a secure browser so they can't get any marketing value out of me the few times I do check it

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. Abby‏ @abbynemo922 Jun 17
        Replying to @GFourmyle @TheOnion

        Haven't even felt tempted to sign in on my pc. It's been almost a week. It was prob the app I used most!

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. Geoffrey Fourmyle‏ @GFourmyle Jun 17
        Replying to @abbynemo922 @TheOnion

        It's 75% keeping up with the Jones 25% talking to old friends or acquaintances

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. Heather Donnelly‏ @deatherhonnelly Jun 16
        Replying to @ju10ma @TheOnion @mogamber98

        “Nothing stopping you” her name is Ma Rina thank u very much

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. West Peg‏ @WestPeg Jun 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The only thing stopping me is that the fact I did it already.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Hayley Isacunt‏ @hayleycakes1991 Jun 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        never had one in the first place :)

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Michael Towns‏ @towns_michael Jun 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Deactivate isn’t the same thing.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Dean Jones  😳 👌‏ @whodeani Jun 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Deleted #facebook 3 months ago and counting. Liberating.

        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Doc Hollywood Media‏ @DocHollywoodM Jun 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Nothing Should Stop #Twiiter #Facebook From #TOSDeleting @POTUS Right Now - Using #SocialMedia For #Propaganda #PoliticalWeapon #FakeNews Against #America & World as if @realdDonaldTrump is @VladimirPutin @Russia Willful Selfish #VanquishingOfAllEnemies #AttacksOnFirstAmendment

        1 reply 1 retweet 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2.  🤦🏻‍♂️ Nick Bianchi  🏳️‍🌈‏ @nbianchi Jun 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @G_Engelmeyer @JonesLaurenc 🤔

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Geoff‏ @G_Engelmeyer Jun 16
        Replying to @nbianchi @TheOnion @JonesLaurenc

        pic.twitter.com/yQEOIPz4Iv

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. arrest john podesta‏ @murderwrotes Jun 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        it really never goes away; i deleted mine only for it to be mysteriously reactivated 6 months later. FB is like opioids; safer just to never try.

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. Jasper‏ @BonFoamy Jun 16
        Replying to @BonFoamy @murderwrotes @TheOnion

        Sorry, misread. You did say deleted. The words are so often used interchangeably online that I overlook them. That is suspicious.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. arrest john podesta‏ @murderwrotes Jun 16
        Replying to @BonFoamy @TheOnion

        it’s true. i had to log back in and re-delete. every six months it happens. i suppose this is how they keep their numbers up. i have a sensitive job so i don’t want anything to do with facebook anymore.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. 1 more reply

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info