Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    1. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 14

      Cowardly Michael Cohen Chooses To Betray President, Go To Prison Rather Than Meet Face-To-Face With ‘The Onion’ https://trib.al/eldHASL pic.twitter.com/YqOPo67BLe

      25 replies 383 retweets 2,767 likes
      Show this thread
    2. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 14

      Understand, Mr. Cohen, this matter is far from resolved.

      6 replies 31 retweets 545 likes
      Show this thread
    3. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 14

      Did you really believe you could get rid of us by blocking our organization on Twitter? Did you assume that four walls and a few prison guards could stop us from getting to you?

      11 replies 69 retweets 760 likes
      Show this thread
    4. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 14

      Let it be known, the second you are no longer under the protection of the special counsel, we will be there waiting.

      11 replies 49 retweets 734 likes
      Show this thread
      The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 14

      There is no place to run, no place to hide. WE ARE LEGION, FOR WE ARE MANY.

      11:45 AM - 14 Jun 2018
      • 65 Retweets
      • 856 Likes
      • Emilio De La Mora Yoav Casey Biggerman Lisa Horan Chandler Wakefield Anna in Cowtown stan wooden Ben Williams Srinath
      16 replies 65 retweets 856 likes
        1. Nostalgiason Voorhees‏ @Nostalgiohn Jun 14
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Whoever runs your twitter needs a raise.

          0 replies 0 retweets 21 likes
          Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
          Undo
        1. the empathic narcissist.‏ @SeauxAppalled Jun 14
          Replying to @TheOnion

          onion has my sides hurting from laughing and this doesn't happen often. help.

          0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
          Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
          Undo
        1. Laura Duhan-Kaplan‏ @OnSophiaStreet Jun 14
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Do you swear to God on your children? Sorry, just using an actual quote from Cohen threatening a journalist.

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
          Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
          Undo
        1. Xenu’s Pilot License‏ @VolcanoToursLtd Jun 14
          Replying to @TheOnion

          You are literally a satirical news organization.

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
          Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
          Undo
        1. Guy Henry‏ @GuyHenry_7 Jun 14
          Replying to @TheOnion

          We have layers!

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
          Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
          Undo
        1. molly‏ @AtMollyAtHome Jun 14
          Replying to @TheOnion

          u good?

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
          Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
          Undo
        1. Alek‏ @nelsonalek Jun 14
          Replying to @TheOnion

          pic.twitter.com/2PdbC4VDYZ

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
          Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
          Undo
        1. armchairpundit 🇨🇦‏ @GAKechnie Jun 14
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Dude must be shaking in his boots.

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
          Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
          Undo
        1. BOOOOOOO!!!ecca Piano‏ @BeccaPiano Jun 14
          Replying to @TheOnion

          If we peel you, there's still more of you left #whoa

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
          Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
          Undo
        1. Devang Nivatkar‏ @Devang_Nivatkar Jun 14
          Replying to @TheOnion

          All ten of us!

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
          Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
          Undo
        1. Colin‏ @coronadorukus Jun 14
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Ok

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
          Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
          Undo
        1. New conversation
        2. tara lee cheesman‏ @tarawasjesus Jun 14
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Nah. You're one. You've just been led to believe you're not all part of one big electromagnetic spectrum.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. tara lee cheesman‏ @tarawasjesus Jun 14
          Replying to @tarawasjesus @TheOnion

          Should mention "legion" means LEG - ION. The ion, or photon pool is the iam, who is satan, so, one giant leg really. Think of all those dictator armies doing that doofus in sync marching.

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        4. End of conversation
        1. That One Guy‏ @thatoneguy2440 Jun 14
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Y'all need an award for your journalism.

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
          Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
          Undo
        1. Liel9999‏ @Liel9999 Jun 14
          Replying to @TheOnion

          🤣😃😄

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
          Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
          Undo

      Loading seems to be taking a while.

      Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

        Promoted Tweet

        false

        • © 2018 Twitter
        • About
        • Help Center
        • Terms
        • Privacy policy
        • Cookies
        • Ads info