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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 13

    Newly Uncovered Journals Reveal Alexander Graham Bell Invented Telephone As First Step In Consolidating All American Businesses Into Single Monopoly https://trib.al/RSloTCW pic.twitter.com/geZT9VPC6f

    2:06 PM - 13 Jun 2018
    • 395 Retweets
    • 1,730 Likes
    • Ian DiDi Creepy 👻 Jeepy J. Arthur Zuidema Amir Usman Dan White Catman Selina Lay Brad
    16 replies 395 retweets 1,730 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Haemaker‏ @haemaker Jun 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "You see, this phone system consists of a multibillion-dollar matrix of space age technology that is so sophisticated - even we can't handle it. But that's your problem, isn't it? We don't care. We don't have to. We're the Phone Company."

        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
      3. Ivan Offalich‏ @IvanOffalich Jun 13
        Replying to @haemaker @TheOnion

        Nice Lily Tomlin reference. :D

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Haemaker‏ @haemaker Jun 13
        Replying to @IvanOffalich @TheOnion

        I wish there is easily accessible video of it. I think Hulu might have it, but I cannnot find it.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. Ivan Offalich‏ @IvanOffalich Jun 13
        Replying to @haemaker @TheOnion

        SNL season 2, I think. I saw it not long ago on there.

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      6.  🎼AdagioForStrings 🎻‏ @adagioforstring Jun 14
        Replying to @IvanOffalich @haemaker @TheOnion

        Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In: One Ringy Dingy ☎️ "Omneepeetent! That's potent with an omni in front of it."https://youtu.be/iFRc6nt4hbQ 

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      7. End of conversation
      1. Ferret S Pumpkins‏ @RidiculousBS Jun 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And when that monopoly is finally completed, it will subsume the government, becoming the defacto ruling body Enjoy!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Jeg Riva  🇪🇺  🇮🇹‏ @jegriva Jun 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Meucci needs revenge.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. The Ghost of Hipster Sasquatch  🖕ಠ_ಠ 🤘‏ @Gr8SageEqlofHvn Jun 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Alexander Graham Bell is also lying in wait, in his underground silk-lined pinewood bunker on Beinn Bhreagh mountain, waiting for the day that he can re-emerge and take the reigns of the resulting business super-monopoly/empire.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 Jun 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That’s why he said “Dr. Watson, come here please”, followed by “Bring those Aquisition and injunction forms with you”......

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Peter Lawrey‏ @PeterLawrey Jun 14
        Replying to @TheOnion

        In some ways, all businesses in the world onto one electrical communications network.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. SJ Vaughan‏ @Loki_ARG Jun 13
        Replying to @TheOnion @ofiuco

        He gave it his best shot.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. hello sir‏ @JackyChgan Jun 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Cricketnation

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Alt-Human‏ @cspengler Jun 13
        Replying to @TheOnion @HoarseWisperer

        The Onion needs to go away. It's headlines don't appear to be anymore shocking than the real ones.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Tige Gibson  🇺🇳 🇨🇦‏ @Tachyx Jun 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What good is net neutrality if all websites are owned by the same company?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. DRAGON ENERGY dilk‏ @dilk_carton Jun 13
        Replying to @Tachyx @TheOnion

        good question. good thing that's not reality

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Rory‏ @rory_hume Jun 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @DerekHume59

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Matt Jones‏ @YosemiteSamurai Jun 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You mean he stole the design from Elisha Gray for that purpose...

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Tige Gibson  🇺🇳 🇨🇦‏ @Tachyx Jun 13
        Replying to @YosemiteSamurai @TheOnion

        Well dig him up and toss some money into his grave then.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation

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