Alcohol has always been so great with my depression. Was there when it took its first steps, said its first word. Worked hard enough to pay for that English Lit Degree. I empty trash at the mall, but in 72 months I'll be able to wash windows. 4.8 out of 5. Would recommend.
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I put my tongue on a 9 volt battery when I'm feeling low.
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Anyone who doesn't understand The Onion is satire, no pity for you.
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No pints, either! LOL
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I know this is meant to be funny but it’s extremely accurate to an alcoholic
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Alcohol The cause of and the solution to all of life's problems............ Homer Simpson.
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This is completely wrong. My dad had depression, and this is literally what he did and it made no difference, I think it might of actually made the problem worse. Please, PLEASE get help, go outside, make some friends, etc if you're depressed.
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I reached this state and I dont even drink or watch tv lol
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Oh
@TheOnion please NEVER NEVER change. We need you now more than ever....Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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Can I replace alcohol with pizza and chocolate?
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Why yes! Yes you can! I've heard of people getting blotto on pizza/chocolate binge.




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Aw fuck yeah, balanced brain chemicals, here I come!

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You may be a month late and a six pack short of getting the timing for this PSA just right... Good effort Well presented
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My preferred method!
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A fifth a day keeps the blues away!
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OMG. Yes. Those guys and their "swamp" distillery. Perfect companion watching.
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