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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 12

    Tragic Accident Kills Aspiring Living Person https://trib.al/iJ8x16s pic.twitter.com/TEIwKC6iea

    8:21 PM - 12 Jun 2018
    • 167 Retweets
    • 1,527 Likes
    • Happy Howloween Sam🦖 Benjamin Targa Pierre-Simon Laplace T.Aubrey Tosha Diamond-Huey João 🇧🇷🕊️ MR Isaac GRk
    25 replies 167 retweets 1,527 likes
      1. magma  📼‏ @dspacefear Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Fortunate Accident Kills Person Who Never Meant To Be Alive

        0 replies 1 retweet 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Roland Jenkins‏ @Roland_Jenkins Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I know sooner or later I'll be involved in a accident of some kind. What bothers me is, the article will start with "Elderly man" >8-(

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. Exen with the Big Dork Energy‏ @exentrik137 Jun 12
        Replying to @Roland_Jenkins @TheOnion

        "Elderly child"

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Roland Jenkins‏ @Roland_Jenkins Jun 12
        Replying to @exentrik137 @TheOnion

        The brake is the big pedal on the left?

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. Steven Wine‏ @id6klub Jun 12
        Replying to @Roland_Jenkins @exentrik137 @TheOnion

        Yes. Wait...MY left or YOUR left? Whatever.pic.twitter.com/mPht2g72Td

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      6. End of conversation
      1. E_Basabe‏ @E_Basabe Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Once again aspirations set way WAY to high.

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. Not Brian Colangelo‏ @eredding9 Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yall better hope nothing happens to the kid in that picture lol

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Tommy McPines‏ @TMcpines Jun 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hit a pothole while riding unicycle on his way to Groupon special at Cutz for Men

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. William Pumpkinlon‏ @williamkenlon Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Nice @TuftsUniversity sweater too 😳

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Jebus2.0‏ @0Jebus2 Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/qF0Cw8Uyb8

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Papa‏ @piy1234444 Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        RIP

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. boingboingbbeep‏ @boingboingbbeep Jun 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Area Boomer says: I'm aspiring to downsize my aspirations,

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Helena Handbasket‏ @ImSedated Jun 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Because he didn't get to see the bear coming while getting a selfie...also there's a gator. But keep smiling, brother - this will look great on insta.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Forest Spirit‏ @EarthenBlueSky7 Jun 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        😁😆😆

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. JessicaEsther‏ @sonnyhunnychile Jun 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That is so sad💆‍♀️

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Mark with a sea.‏ @marco_s_polo Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He choked on his aspirations.pic.twitter.com/qnXoxAp6SW

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. HQ2point0‏ @HQ2point0 Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Next

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. John Ditzler‏ @JohnDIEtzler Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        A sort of Idealist, friends said of Aspiring Living Person, the kind that could mount impromptu spirited defense of random things, late at night, while party winding down around him, a dreamer who could be overheard posing the questions, simply, by wondering aloud....

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1.  🎀 𝐸 𝓂 𝒷 𝑜 𝓈 𝓈 𝑒 𝒹  🎀‏ @Embossed_ Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I laughed so hard at “In fact, when I last talked to him, I specifically remember him being alive.”

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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