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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 12

    Man In Kitchen Can’t Remember What He Got Married, Bought House, Had 3 Kids, And Came In Here For https://trib.al/6UGe9sL pic.twitter.com/o7IxpVsVOx

    5:29 PM - 12 Jun 2018
    • 139 Retweets
    • 1,177 Likes
    • Andrew Amos n/a betsybetsy Abel H. hai👅 🌱 sophia salmassi Roy Starling J
    19 replies 139 retweets 1,177 likes
      1. Kate @ Spooky Time‏ @letsgomeisei Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/xPiDPpZ8wN

        0 replies 0 retweets 16 likes
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      1. Intertubes9000‏ @Intertubes9000 Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down...

        0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
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      1. Queef Stroganoff ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)‏ @AbrahamVigoda Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Did an intern write this?

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Alison‏ @ASchoonz Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Lunch meat of course.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Constant Bliss (*the soldier, not the cheese!)‏ @Bethan7rose Jun 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I love ❤ this so much, can't think why

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. 𓂀 åṃєŗıċå‏ @talkstowind Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        me

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Steve Reed‏ @SteveReed Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Why.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Cynthia levi‏ @clevi97205 Jun 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I was smart enough to avoid that hell.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Tommy McPines‏ @TMcpines Jun 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Called the Jim Ignitowski or Honeydew Effect, half of American males over 58 have it

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. John Fischer‏ @Yinzer_man Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What's the over/under for spelling mistakes in @TheOnion tweets in a month? I'm looking to get in on that action.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. GARY KILLPACK‏ @JNE4KLPK Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "what he got married"?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. jemimahibnjahiliyah‏ @jemimallah Jun 13
        Replying to @JNE4KLPK @TheOnion

        yes, "what he got married....for"

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. max358‏ @max358 Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        happens. nothing to see here. move along.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. (((Jenniferlayne*)))‏ @Jenniferlayne53 Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It happens more often than you would think

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Alex Preiss‏ @AlexPreiss4 Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Is snowing outside and Harrington will not retrace his steps back to New Year’s Eve 2001 because he doesn’t remember where his Galoshes are.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Trump Luvs Jeebus: White House of Horror II‏ @JeebusTrump Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        🎶 Same as it ever was ... Same as it ever was ... 🎶

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Mia Rivera‏ @miaculpepper2 Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        LOL! Oh those days!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Fred Fredburger‏ @KaBucchi Jun 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I hear if you back out of the room it all comes back to you.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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