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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 10

    New Parenting Trend Involves Just Handing Children Bulleted List Of Things To Accomplish By 30 https://trib.al/UikrLz8 pic.twitter.com/yQzLY9tOoq

    7:10 PM - 10 Jun 2018
    • 369 Retweets
    • 2,546 Likes
    • Miss Suzylee Koby Sam. Tyler 👺 ya fav bitch lottie spooky melon 👻🍉 Big Mike mali gwen greco
    20 replies 369 retweets 2,546 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Jason Biggs‏ @AwesumSawz Jun 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Spoiler alert: They all wait until the day before they turn 30 to get started.

        1 reply 0 retweets 19 likes
      3. Joni Kontusalmi‏ @Jonicon_ Jun 10
        Replying to @AwesumSawz @TheOnion

        "A degree, a wife, a kid on the way, own a car? Psh! That should be easy!"

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Spooky Scribe 🌹‏ @Scholarly_Mind Jun 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        My parents tried this one with me but they never taught me how to read or write.

        0 replies 0 retweets 13 likes
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      1. Neimand ©️‏ @DerFineHerrNman Jun 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Honestly this would have made my life so much better.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Jeffrey‏ @Jeffrey_reads Jun 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "Did you do all these things, dad?" "Son. Your mom wrote that list & told me give it to you. I don't even know what it says."

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Steve Roth‏ @SRoth0508 Jun 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        consequence is they will get kicked out of the house if they do not complete the list by the time they turn 30?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Jeffrey‏ @Jeffrey_reads Jun 10
        Replying to @SRoth0508 @TheOnion

        Not a day over 32, young man!

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Steve Roth‏ @SRoth0508 Jun 10
        Replying to @Jeffrey_reads @TheOnion

        Geeze - that means more Entertainment Tonight stories about a little 32 y/o boy suing his mommy and daddy.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Em‏ @arcanesoull Jun 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        didn’t get one. so explains a lot 🚮

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Pro B‏ @UnrealPros Jun 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Just text us the list

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Catherine Jones‏ @HiFalutinWays Jun 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        1. Save the children of Africa etc vs war & famine 2. Introduce effective socialism 3. End the practice of animal cruelty 4. End child labour 5. End child sex trafficking and pornography 6. Study AI 7. End global monoliths’ destroying real food and monopolising water About it

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. eComLuke‏ @eComLuke Jun 11
        Replying to @HiFalutinWays @TheOnion

        Please work on grammar, and the actual meaning of words you use, so you know if they are placed correctly or not. Ty.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Catherine Jones‏ @HiFalutinWays Jun 11
        Replying to @eComLuke @TheOnion

        The English hard is

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. Weeb Hick‏ @BayAreaSnob Jun 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Well that's what they do to them at school so why not at home? badumbum

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Brinda Thomas‏ @mc2maven Jun 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I’d be the cool parent and give them by 35 to achieve the full list and acquire two bullion bars from Ft. Knox.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. eComLuke‏ @eComLuke Jun 11
        Replying to @mc2maven @TheOnion

        Fort Knox is empty. The Grays took it all.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Brinda Thomas‏ @mc2maven Jun 11
        Replying to @eComLuke @TheOnion

        Forget about retirement — we’re all going to have to work forever.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Tommy McPines‏ @TMcpines Jun 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Named his daughter Dot

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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