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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 8

    Genealogists Find 99% Of People Not Related To Anyone Cool https://trib.al/HK4V6tF pic.twitter.com/MDfQYA8BTp

    9:49 AM - 8 Jun 2018
    • 157 Retweets
    • 1,168 Likes
    • Bradley Ogilvie 👄☀️🦋 and 412 others NY Yankees Apologist Kasumi Layne-Stasik John M Toni Pollin Pierre-Simon Laplace Chuck Cox Jimmy
    16 replies 157 retweets 1,168 likes
      1. Daphne Guinness‏Verified account @TheRealDaphne Jun 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is the funniest study of the day! 💥

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. The Colon‏ @thecolonnews Jun 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        https://www.thecolonnews.com/single-post/2018/03/14/St-Patricks-Day-DNA …

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Steve Roth‏ @SRoth0508 Jun 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What about people that claim they are the 6th degree cousin of Kevin Bacon?

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Jacob Lysinger‏ @jacoblysinger Jun 9
        Replying to @SRoth0508 @TheOnion

        Is Kevin Bacon cool, though?

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Steve Roth‏ @SRoth0508 Jun 9
        Replying to @jacoblysinger @TheOnion

        Depends upon if he is baked

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. Jacob Lysinger‏ @jacoblysinger Jun 10
        Replying to @SRoth0508 @TheOnion

        What if he's boiled 🤔

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. Dream Cloud Productions‏ @Javinorr527 Jun 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Instead they’re related to someone hot

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Don Hartman‏ @icavalera63 Jun 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I was going to like this, but I saw it had 666 likes, and I didn't want to screw that up.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Juan Fabuloso‏ @juan_fabuloso Jun 8
        Replying to @TheOnion @allahpundit

        I know I'm no!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Michelle Lopez‏ @MichelleL697 Jun 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Funny and probably very true.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Doug Guy‏ @baddoug47 Jun 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        But, but, what about in past lives? Haha, in past lives, everyone thinks they were the king or queen.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Cunt de Ferney‏ @sportsbot5k Jun 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Throw in the proctologist study and we have a narrative.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Juan Fabuloso‏ @juan_fabuloso Jun 8
        Replying to @BunkleWill @TheOnion

        Cool is "Will Bunkle". ;-)

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Tim the Enchanter.‏ @thayden60 Jun 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'd thought it would be more.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Alex Preiss‏ @AlexPreiss4 Jun 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        When asked about the Genealogists’ research Mr. Andrew Cucumber III said: "Me and my whole family are so blessed to be so cool."

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1.  🦄 🗽 ⚖️N ⚡NA 🦋 👼 👽 🌈‏ @TheRealNVLights Jun 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Define "cool" lol

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. The Cryptillionaire Dude‏ @Jwitt777 Jun 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Good thing I’m one of the cool Dudes, just ask @ChrisWebby @HoodieAllen @SkrizzlyAdams @chamillionaire @G_Eazy @wizkhalifa I’m related to them too

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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