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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 7

    Alternatives To Traditional Burialpic.twitter.com/Yv6r7XVMZu

    7:48 PM - 7 Jun 2018
    • 51 Retweets
    • 219 Likes
    • I'll think of a better username later Ben Thomas colin sims Andrew Crerar BirdXSM R Matthew Steiner Javier Alberto de la Vega Ortiz Collin masonic Bikini 👙
    12 replies 51 retweets 219 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Soop Munkey‏ @soopmunkey Jun 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Cremation: Rolling Coal just one more time!

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Reticent Turnip‏ @ReticentTurnip Jun 7
        Replying to @soopmunkey @TheOnion

        Libs: owned

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. TheLoopV 🇺🇸 📷 👀‏ @TheLoop12741459 Jun 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Bequeathing bodies to cannibal restaurants.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Everbero‏ @AndAllYouGuys1 Jun 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I love the inspirational music in the background of this video about what to do with corpses

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Tommy McPines‏ @TMcpines Jun 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Luxury Suite Salesman At Citi Field for NY Mets is a guaranteed graveyard job.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Alex Preiss‏ @AlexPreiss4 Jun 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Use Hunter S. Thompson idea to have your ashes blown into the sky amid fireworks. Good times and brilliant.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Thomas Ian Russell‏‏ @ThomasIanRusse5 Jun 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I've chosen cremation as my alternative. It's cheaper & I get two 'bucket list' wishes. My pacemaker will blow up the furnace when it explodes & my ashes will be spread over my ex-mother-in-laws white Shag carpet. That bitch will never get me out of there!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. M J Berzinsky‏ @BerzinskyM Jun 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        🤣🤣🤣🤣

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Catherine Jones‏ @HiFalutinWays Jun 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Dude, there’s plenty of room to toss dead widows into that cesspool, the Ganges, after being burnt alive on a pyre. 😳

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Frank Stanton‏ @Frank66Stanton Jun 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Can I just fade away?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. large speedboaty 🦒‏ @zayaanazfar Jun 10
        Replying to @Frank66Stanton @TheOnion

        I don’t feel too good mr stark

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Eric Wojciechowski  🛸 👽 🕴‏ @ericwojo Jun 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I was just telling my wife that now that I own a paddleboard, it would be appropriate to arrange a Viking funeral should I go somewhere around now and while the hobby lasts.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. R.I.P Find A Grave‏ @SaveFindAGrave Jun 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @findagrave

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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