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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 6

    Dad Spends Entire Vacation 8 Steps Ahead Of Family https://trib.al/Ep4IJ2e pic.twitter.com/Zm4Ds23vdE

    12:10 PM - 6 Jun 2018
    • 829 Retweets
    • 6,580 Likes
    • Jeff Halperin Paige 🦈 Erin gay mafia 🏳️‍🌈 👻🎃 erin Drew VanDrese zach gurr 🎃PUMPKIN SPICE JEZZIE🎃 ashley
    80 replies 829 retweets 6,580 likes
      1. nihilistic misanthrope‏ @itsjustafacade Jun 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Mom spends entire vacation staring out at the ocean wondering if she really is fine

        0 replies 1 retweet 43 likes
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      1. spalloween hoonerism‏ @cinatyte Jun 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        wow just @ me next time

        0 replies 0 retweets 39 likes
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      1. domesticmidget‏ @robotmummy Jun 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I want to know; why are we rushing everywhere? Do we have holiday appointments?

        0 replies 1 retweet 12 likes
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      1. Jason Akinaka‏ @jasonakinaka Jun 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        When asked why the rush, Dad responded, "Because I spent my hard-earned money on this trip and my family is going to do everything and like it, whether they like it or not."

        0 replies 1 retweet 7 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. weltschmerz‏ @AimeeReneeMpls Jun 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The Onion is basically the biography of my life.

        1 reply 0 retweets 13 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Mr. YourDoomino‏ @MrOdomino Jun 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Dad Insists That Meticulously Planned Vacation Trumps The Weather Of Reality

        0 replies 0 retweets 15 likes
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      1. Pro B‏ @UnrealPros Jun 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        More like the kids are always 8 steps behind.

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Maggie Moriarty‏ @mmoriarti Jun 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @MSMessage ahem

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Michael Moriarty‏ @MSMessage Jun 6
        Replying to @mmoriarti @TheOnion

        Whatever does this mean? I don’t get it

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Florence G‏ @flofliflo Jun 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        HA! My dad never walked next to us growing up, he was always 30 feet in front of us. So annoying.

        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
      3. CZC‏ @MG_RANT Jun 6
        Replying to @flofliflo @TheOnion

        Mine was like 3 miles

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Matthew‏ @wheres_matthew Jun 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        this is the realest shit I read today

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. Ingvald Akbar‏ @ingvald29 Jun 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        ...and we wouldn’t be pressed for time if we’d left *on time* for once

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Matt Sztajnkrycer‏ @NoobieMatt Jun 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/GZqLCx8bIs

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Preemster‏ @yikes90909 Jun 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        How is this satire lol

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Jack‏ @jack_kananian Jun 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Jackie_kananian @jkan522 this is us

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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