Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion May 31

    ICE Agent Decides He Wants Kids After Seeing Incredible Love And Devotion Of Parents Begging Him Not To Take Their Child https://trib.al/vxR020H pic.twitter.com/UNK5jaiWeD

    12:23 PM - 31 May 2018
    • 11,472 Retweets
    • 31,204 Likes
    • nickel Deen Akeredolu-Ale Trackstar Debbie Laura☭❣️ Guido Heine Bug at TwitchCon 2018 Eman🌻ايمان ThatF00LThere
    249 replies 11,472 retweets 31,204 likes
      1. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion May 31

        ICE Enforcement agent Matthew Howe admitted the intense sobbing as he kicked the parents off their son helped him finally understand how the power of the parent–child connection made two people very nearly inseparable. https://trib.al/vxR020H pic.twitter.com/RJbp6Uonew

        33 replies 697 retweets 2,326 likes
        Show this thread
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Matt Siegel‏ @mattsiegel May 31
        Replying to @TheOnion @ClaraJeffery

        damn

        1 reply 2 retweets 172 likes
      3. Sarah Drasner‏ @sarah_edo May 31
        Replying to @mattsiegel @TheOnion @ClaraJeffery

        Wow, they really went for it. Good for you, The Onion.

        2 replies 7 retweets 407 likes
      4. William B. Turner‏ @wbtphdjd May 31
        Replying to @sarah_edo @mattsiegel and

        We don't call it biting satire for nothing.

        2 replies 2 retweets 141 likes
      5.  🌊 Vote November 6th  🌊‏ @charlesofidaho May 31
        Replying to @wbtphdjd @sarah_edo and

        It has to a hard job these days when real headlines sound like satirehttps://thetakeout.com/report-north-korea-might-not-give-up-nukes-but-will-c-1826422086 …

        2 replies 8 retweets 142 likes
      6. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Joel58271‏ @Joel58271 May 31
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You guys are crossing some serious lines here. Disgusting. They are law enforcement. They are doing their jobs. If alien families want to stay together no one is stopping them. Stay together in your home country. They’re breaking up themselves by breaking the law.

        158 replies 16 retweets 54 likes
      3. A‏ @andrewevrst May 31
        Replying to @Joel58271 @TheOnion

        Did you just say that a satire news site just crossed the line

        8 replies 9 retweets 850 likes
      4. Mellen‏ @dottiechauncy May 31
        Replying to @andrewevrst @Joel58271 @TheOnion

        That's so odd. I thought libertarians hated government having excessive power.

        10 replies 2 retweets 261 likes
      5. Gene, new not-racist Papa John’s CEO‏ @GeneAdrift May 31
        Replying to @dottiechauncy @andrewevrst and

        Most of them are 14 years old, so

        1 reply 0 retweets 53 likes
      6. CosmicCyborg 🌈 🌯‏ @CaptainNibster May 31
        Replying to @GeneAdrift @dottiechauncy and

        "Let's make laws that put people in horrible, inhumane conditions and justify all our cruelty by saying that somehow they deserve it." Part of me waits for the end of American dominance. It'd be interestingly lovely to see Americans with immigration problems.

        1 reply 2 retweets 44 likes
      7. Pistolgrip Pumpkinhead‏ @SenatorIvy Jun 1
        Replying to @CaptainNibster @GeneAdrift and

        I just don't reply to any of these idiot accounts with a bunch of numbers at the end of their names. Either they're automated or they don't think properly so why bother swimming up that hill

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      8. Joel58271‏ @Joel58271 Jun 1
        Replying to @SenatorIvy @CaptainNibster and

        Hi! Not a bot. Have a great day!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      9. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. DK‏ @KierkeStruck May 31
        Replying to @TheOnion @MorganCarlston

        Does anyone actually read @TheOnion articles? Cause usually the headlines suffice for me

        5 replies 2 retweets 64 likes
      3. Psyche-Lops‏ @Psyche_Lops May 31
        Replying to @KierkeStruck @TheOnion @MorganCarlston

        Yes. Its like turning the volume up on your favorite song.

        1 reply 2 retweets 219 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Mike Prysner‏ @MikePrysner May 31
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hey @ICEgov look how much everyone hates you

        1 reply 1 retweet 29 likes
      3. Lowell Anthony‏ @LHAFluvialMorph May 31
        Replying to @MikePrysner @TheOnion @ICEgov

        What's not to like about our very own Gestapo, fits in nicely with what has been going on here for far to long... too many people distracted by the cheeto to realize so much of this is a long running theme, just the players change from time to time...

        1 reply 1 retweet 18 likes
      4. Beth  🧙‍♀️ Witchy Woman‏ @FaerieWhings May 31
        Replying to @LHAFluvialMorph @MikePrysner and

        And God forbid you point that out. They honestly think that Trump's policy to separate families caught at the border is not related to and an extension of past immigration policies. It was just the next step and no matter who sat in the Oval Office, it would have happened.

        3 replies 0 retweets 16 likes
      5. Phil‏ @PhilisWondering May 31
        Replying to @FaerieWhings @LHAFluvialMorph and

        Yeah, no

        3 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      6. Beth  🧙‍♀️ Witchy Woman‏ @FaerieWhings May 31
        Replying to @PhilisWondering @LHAFluvialMorph and

        Because putting kids behind bars with their parents is so humane...? You're allowed your denial. However, the past policies have been working towards this. Just because you don't want to admit it, as a D enacted some of those past policies, doesn't make it not true.pic.twitter.com/PateLqvPk5

        1 reply 0 retweets 9 likes
      7. "So Called"AFVeteran‏ @ashupasu May 31
        Replying to @FaerieWhings @LHAFluvialMorph and

        WOW..must've been some strong cool aid huh

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      8. Dorkalotamus‏ @BoucherKc May 31
        Replying to @ashupasu @FaerieWhings and

        You should really go back to resist tweeting Trump and stop embarrassing yourself with your lame attacks on progressives.

        1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
      9. Beth  🧙‍♀️ Witchy Woman‏ @FaerieWhings May 31
        Replying to @BoucherKc @ashupasu and

        #McResist Actual resistance would require some brain power.

        3 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
      10. 2 more replies

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info