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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion May 30

    ‘Coffee Cultivation Merely Extends The System Of Colonial Oppression,’ Recite Nation’s 180,000 Radicalized Starbucks Employees After 3-Hour Anti-Bias Training https://trib.al/1CMXcZi pic.twitter.com/c4eL6j6HUT

    11:44 AM - 30 May 2018
    • 4,651 Retweets
    • 16,197 Likes
    • Brian Conaty AK Ramakrishna Ozias Carly Bower mick Pelotuda Fredrik Matheson Great Value Guy BooKaryote
    163 replies 4,651 retweets 16,197 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Scott Foul-banks  👻 🎃‏ @Sxottlan May 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "I have a macchiato for... Oppressor?"

        1 reply 8 retweets 249 likes
      3. Matthew Connors‏ @mlconnors May 31
        Replying to @Sxottlan @TheOnion

        Oppressor?! I hardly know her!

        1 reply 0 retweets 41 likes
      4. Scott Foul-banks  👻 🎃‏ @Sxottlan May 31
        Replying to @mlconnors @TheOnion

        “No, my name is Ormond Pressor! That’s O. Pressor.”

        0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Turkmenbashi‏ @Joeredemption83 May 31
        Replying to @TheOnion @shoe0nhead

        Bye Bye Starbucks you are at the starting point of your end.

        2 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
      3. Harmon Rechner  👻 (Team Trick)‏ @FishofNintendo May 31
        Replying to @Joeredemption83 @TheOnion @shoe0nhead

        Nobody tell him

        4 replies 0 retweets 104 likes
      4. socialistly awkward, PhD‏ @socialistawk May 31
        Replying to @FishofNintendo @Joeredemption83 and

        I wouldn't dare

        0 replies 0 retweets 15 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Mac W‏ @MacDoubleU May 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You want cream? you know that's white right? Are you a raciest? you are aren't you? that's it get out of my store, or I'm calling the POPO!pic.twitter.com/6hUlFlvCDF

        2 replies 1 retweet 26 likes
      3. Mac W‏ @MacDoubleU May 30
        Replying to @MacDoubleU @TheOnion

        P - People O- Offended by P - Peoples O - Opinion s

        1 reply 1 retweet 19 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Sunlost‏ @SunGravity May 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        hi im a starbucks barista and i can confirm this is 100% true thanks for your honest reporting

        1 reply 0 retweets 202 likes
      3. Jack Gudgin‏ @JGudgin May 30
        Replying to @SunGravity @TheOnion

        Sunlost!!!

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. Sunlost‏ @SunGravity May 30
        Replying to @JGudgin @TheOnion

        yes hi!! my job is finally worth something!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Raul KILL-mino 🔪 🔪‏ @akiratoriamos May 30
        Replying to @TheOnion @itsyaboi_Marcos

        Lemme get a Che tea latte wit a Lenin pound cake

        1 reply 2 retweets 61 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Fen Jordan‏ @FenJordan1 May 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wouldn't put my name on the cup. "too gender specific".

        2 replies 0 retweets 86 likes
      3. Snarky Cyclist‏ @SnarkyCyclistAB May 30
        Replying to @FenJordan1 @TheOnion

        Eh, names used to be used in ways you might not expect. 100 years ago, Hazel and Ashley were more commonly used for boys.

        4 replies 0 retweets 20 likes
      4. Roger  👻Fear 🎃myer‏ @rfilmyer May 30
        Replying to @SnarkyCyclistAB @FenJordan1 @TheOnion

        I got a classmate named Kevin! She got her name from her dad!

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      5. DiscarydianBOOge!‏ @DiscordianStooj May 30
        Replying to @rfilmyer @SnarkyCyclistAB and

        There's an older TV/Radio woman named Kevyn where I live.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. Fen Jordan‏ @FenJordan1 May 30
        Replying to @DiscordianStooj @rfilmyer and

        I guess we could start naming our kids after trees and other plants.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      7. ObstructTrump‏ @nihilistcomhour May 30
        Replying to @FenJordan1 @DiscordianStooj and

        Maple, Magnolia, Olive, Clementine, Daisy, and Ginger aren't too common these days.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      8. Fen Jordan‏ @FenJordan1 May 30
        Replying to @nihilistcomhour @DiscordianStooj and

        Might be too much all at once...Maybe start with shrubbery ---Azalea,,,lilac or rhododendron could be good names

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      9. Albert So‏ @albertsotweets May 31
        Replying to @FenJordan1 @nihilistcomhour and

        rhododendron's a bit much. maybe as a middle name?

        2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      10. 1 more reply

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