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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion May 28

    Can Of Soda In Freezer Realizing Owner Never Coming Back For It https://trib.al/DXrsBzy pic.twitter.com/FXx4M3fmdY

    6:38 PM - 28 May 2018
    • 400 Retweets
    • 2,710 Likes
    • Sarah Jones D. Lucero Sarah Plain And Tall lib 🦔 G-Dubs Ben Williams Doug Dolan Gene Balthazar
    36 replies 400 retweets 2,710 likes
      1. Film Toilet‏ @FilmToilet May 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        All those years of medical school for nothing. My heart goes out to the Pepper family. You were taken from us before your expiration date.

        0 replies 3 retweets 35 likes
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      1. ugh‏ @jhm5150 May 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Bullshit, I always go back for Dr. Pepper

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
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      1. A Mild Bucko‏ @spicemakesrice May 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I had to clean out my freezer because of this yesterday... 😓

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Anathema Defence‏ @TheMelaniac May 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        My bottle of prosecco that lost its top commiserates.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Shah 👀ster‏ @Shahooster May 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Swell. Just swell.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Richard Buys‏ @richiebuys May 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Gpaulwood12

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. legarrett‏ @Gpaulwood12 May 28
        Replying to @richiebuys @TheOnion

        I would never do this. Needs to be made of glass.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Richard Buys‏ @richiebuys May 28
        Replying to @Gpaulwood12 @TheOnion

        Fair enough

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. Richard Buys‏ @richiebuys May 28
        Replying to @richiebuys @Gpaulwood12 @TheOnion

        In all reality this is the @coltvant special. Dr. Pepper and everything.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      6. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. ryan-but-peoplecallmedale‏ @SweetMeat_Ryan May 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Will we get a follow up story if it explodes from the temperature?

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Film Toilet‏ @FilmToilet May 29
        Replying to @SweetMeat_Ryan @TheOnion

        If? What do you suppose the odds are it doesn't? You a betting man? I could use some easy money.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. ryan-but-peoplecallmedale‏ @SweetMeat_Ryan May 29
        Replying to @FilmToilet @TheOnion

        Some freezers don’t go that cold, sometimes the can just bulges. I’m still very interested in a follow up I just don’t know where the story is headed at this junction, only an educated guess.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. Film Toilet‏ @FilmToilet May 29
        Replying to @SweetMeat_Ryan @TheOnion

        That is true. Completely literal and true. I was just riffing at the Onion. Sharpening my idiot skills.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. ryan-but-peoplecallmedale‏ @SweetMeat_Ryan May 29
        Replying to @FilmToilet @TheOnion

        Keep ‘em as sharp as your wit

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      7. End of conversation
      1. Yoyo Ma’s Cousin‏ @mxpx77 May 28
        Replying to @TheOnion @fortyfoursix

        You have to know me personally to understand why this is funny.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Michael‏ @Ronsoco67 May 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/Qky3RTporo

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Jack-O-LANtern‏ @Bobbutterbutt May 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @SlimyShellos literally most of ur sodas in your fridge

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. n_e_some1‏ @n_e_some1 May 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Bursts in a fit of depressed rage leaving it's entrails all over

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Steve‏ @Snajr9noine May 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        gets angry and self implodes .

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1.  🐙 Octo  🐙‏ @Lobotomoctopus May 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Press F for a fallen beverage

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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