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The recognition of "muscle memory" but lack of recognition for "emotional memory" eats at me. Both are driven into the brain at a young age. I don't think about where my fingers are when I type. Muscle memory. I also don't think when I react to social situations. Social memory.
Someone who undergoes a traumatic upbringing will have a skewed perspective on social interactions, same as someone who is relentlessly bullied, or someone who is rejected by their peers. It'll be carried for years. Why do we talk about muscle memory, but not social memory?
Anything mental health related is woefully ignored everywhere :<
Since this is getting some skin, I'd like to point out: This is why I find the easy suggestion of, "Just think before you reply!" to be so facile. If it were a matter of thinking, there wouldn't be a problem. But it's not a matter of thinking. It's reacting.
Show me a way of breaking the cycle, of interrupting mental patterns that have been ingrained for 20+ years, and then, maybe, we can approach it from a thinking standpoint. But when it's moved to the back of the brain, all bets are off.
This always gets me. If you can be trained to jump when someone says 'frog', then you can damned well be trained to react to social or emotional interactions in a specific way. Sometimes this is beneficial, but when it goes wrong it goes VERY wrong.
That's what really pains me. Therapists (not all of them, just the ones suggested through my health insurance plan) seem to think that trauma is something that only happens recently. They're not at all equipped to deal with long-term, ingrained, negativity.
I seem to have about 3 patterns of social interaction and can't seem to break out of them, to have more "normal" social interactions. I used to think it was lack of practice, but not so much now.
Lastly: Most therapists, it seems like their entire profession revolves around helping someone deal with trauma that happened in the near term. But if something is really, truly ingrained, due to years of ongoing abuse, then all bets are off. I'm not sure where to go from here.
Interesting point! If it is what I think it is then there's a lot of complexity for "emotional memory". I got a ton of subconscious reactions to smells, sounds and even certain colors that triggers (both good and bad) memories and reactions to follow.
And that would just be scratching the surface...
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