A Moogle  🏳️‍🌈 💻 🎮 🎶 🇸🇪

I keep seeing this tweet about how hyper-independence is a sign of abuse. And I agree with it, but I'm not sure how to internalize it. I've been wanting to start a video series doing short docus on the history of various emulators, but I pretty much *have* to do it myself.

I'm not sure I'd say abuse, although maybe over-compensation. I struggle to be independent in many ways others manage just fine, so in my own way I balance that out by not relying on others in different ways.

Also there's a certain autistic element to it I think, social burnout - bringing more people on board means having to manage more unpredictable things, not let other people down if things don't work out. Again a lot of it is just trying to prevent becoming overloaded with that.

I've seen this misinterpreted too often as ego, not thinking anybody else is worthy etc. and only believing in myself, but it's not that at all. For a lot of the tasks I take on I'd consider myself to be far less suited than 95% of the rest of the team.

There's also the focus element. Switching between tasks is expensive for me, and while I do this a lot already, again it's about management. Look at the whole MAME/MESS merger, before I didn't do much for MESS because that focus shift to another application was too much.

I'm not going to say these aren't in some way character flaws, because they are, but they're things I've found ways to deal with that work to the level I need them to work. Pushing beyond them does quickly burn me out however.