honestly prospective partners who lead by telling me how few limits or restraints they have tend to parse as telling me how few boundaries they have or will respect, and i generally take it as a pretty big red flag
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Honestly not sure if this is the right venue for this, and if it isn't then just tell me to fuck right off, but one of the things that has driven me away from the BDSM community in general is just how many creepy, illiterate motherfuckers seem to be out there, as you describe
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that specific thing has been behind my general disengagement from and retreat from primary or mainstream BDSM community spaces, yes.
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I just don't get it, and I suspect I never will. To an extent I see it even in the furry community: People who can talk at length about what they'll do in the bedroom, or their fursona, but who can't hold a simple conversation over coffee. It makes me sad.
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