A Moogle  🏳️‍🌈 💻 🎮 🎶 🇸🇪

To this day I struggle to trust people. I've been on a combination of an anti-depressant and an anti-psychotic to treat my autism spectrum. I weigh around 220lbs / 100kg and cannot keep the weight off unless I nearly starve myself thanks to my medication.

That's to say nothing of the borderline asexuality that it causes. I'm intensely grateful that I have a partner who understands, and who is okay with having an open relationship. It at least makes me happy that he's able to have his fun with others and still comes home to me.

My path through the game industry has been one of regular behavioral incidents and self-medication via liquor. The game industry, despite being packed with people on the autism spectrum, is generally not a friendly place to people who are on the spectrum.

When I was still in school, and even in university in my mid teens, my mom insisted that I focus on my studies, and kept me from having the social life and getting up to the usual childhood antics that would have helped me be well-socialized for when I entered the workforce.

I was a nightmare to work with. Probably still am, and everyone is just too polite. I thought I was god's gift to coders, when in reality I'm just an average coder at best. Constant run-ins with my line managers at previous jobs about my behavior.

I was fired from my first job at @EA, when after my fingers were worked to the bone from months upon months of endless crunch on Superman Returns, I finally had one too many angry run-ins with coworkers. My pleas that they had failed to accommodate my autism fell on deaf ears.

I at least lasted long enough to be laid off from my job at @Activision after they laid off 500 people upon the cancellation of the Hero business unit, including a third of the staff at @VvisionsStudio at the time. Thus began both the best and worst year of my life, 2011.

I lost track of the number of times I stood on a chair, noose tied, trying to will myself to just kick it out from under me. To this day I'm still unsure whether or not I made the right decision to keep going.