A Moogle  🏳️‍🌈 💻 🎮 🎶 🇸🇪

Some said it was because I was being raised by a single mother. Some opined I wasn't disciplined enough. Others, too much. One time a priest even told my mom that it was because she didn't have a close enough relationship to God.

Did @WCSD_K12 help me? Time and again, at both Country Parkway Elementary School and Mill Middle School, they suspended me every time I finally reacted to the constant taunts and verbal abuse by my classmates. I wrote my first suicide note in in-school suspension when I was 10.

The lingering effects of such a childhood cannot be understated. Partly due to the autism spectrum, and partly because of all of that, I have an extremely difficult time knowing when someone is joking, versus being intentionally rude or mean to me. I assume the latter by default.

To this day I struggle to trust people. I've been on a combination of an anti-depressant and an anti-psychotic to treat my autism spectrum. I weigh around 220lbs / 100kg and cannot keep the weight off unless I nearly starve myself thanks to my medication.

That's to say nothing of the borderline asexuality that it causes. I'm intensely grateful that I have a partner who understands, and who is okay with having an open relationship. It at least makes me happy that he's able to have his fun with others and still comes home to me.

My path through the game industry has been one of regular behavioral incidents and self-medication via liquor. The game industry, despite being packed with people on the autism spectrum, is generally not a friendly place to people who are on the spectrum.

When I was still in school, and even in university in my mid teens, my mom insisted that I focus on my studies, and kept me from having the social life and getting up to the usual childhood antics that would have helped me be well-socialized for when I entered the workforce.

I was a nightmare to work with. Probably still am, and everyone is just too polite. I thought I was god's gift to coders, when in reality I'm just an average coder at best. Constant run-ins with my line managers at previous jobs about my behavior.