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Leonard Chan
@TheLeonardChan
Comedian | Screenwriter | Just For Laughs New Faces | Former environmental engineer who has given up on making the world a better place | Owner of Cats
Toronto, Ontariotheleonardchan.comJoined April 2009
663 Following
829 Followers

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Leonard Chan
@TheLeonardChan
If you're racist enough to believe that all Asians are responsible for coronavirus and willing to attack us for it, then you should also be racist enough to believe that all Asians know martial arts and we'll kill you with our goddamn pinkies. #StopAsianHate
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Leonard Chan
@TheLeonardChan
I just got bitten by a raccoon and now I have to go get rabies shots, which totally sucks. However, if this transforms me into a were-raccoon, this could turn out to be the best Halloween ever.
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Leonard Chan
@TheLeonardChan
I’ve reached the point of the comedy tour where I woke up this morning, fully packed my suitcase, and had my hand on the hotel door before realizing I was still fully naked.
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Leonard Chan
@TheLeonardChan
Whatever your thoughts on the dark history of the country of which she was monarch, it was refreshing to see that sort of consistent and stable leadership free of partisanship. Looking at you America. I’m glad I got to see her before she left us. RIP Queen Elizabeth II.
Leonard Chan
@TheLeonardChan
Wordle 265 6/6 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 DEAR GOD
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Leonard Chan
@TheLeonardChan
Sanctions against Russia won't truly be effective unless countries stop buying Russian oil. But we wouldn't have to interact with shitty fossil fuel dealers if we weren't addicted in the first place. This isn't a supply problem. This is a demand problem. /drives off in his SUV
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Leonard Chan
@TheLeonardChan
The only thing more sobering than the latest climate change reports is playing a drinking game where you do a shot every time Pascal Siakam drives to the hoop and actually gets a foul call.
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Leonard Chan
@TheLeonardChan
Very pleased to be nominated for a Canadian Screen Award for writing on This Hour Has 22 Minutes although, in this case, it's like Jeremy Lin winning a ring with the Toronto Raptors: a successful group project where the Asian actually didn't do all that much work.
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Leonard Chan
@TheLeonardChan
There is a family of rats living in my garage and I can’t bring myself to evict them because a) it’s cold outside, and b) I’ve seen Ratatouille
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Leonard Chan
@TheLeonardChan
My day began when I discovered a cat had diarrhea on the floor and my Roomba discovered it before I did. And, one may ask, how did the rest of my day go? That is a stupid question. There is no rest of the day. Once you have to clean diarrhea with a Q-tip, your day is over.
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Leonard Chan
@TheLeonardChan
Based on the size of my driveway and the average weight of snow, I apparently shoveled 4,000 lbs of snow this morning. I think that qualifies as my workout for the day.
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