Ffrenchie thee Stallion ✨

I always thought that ethically I would never be the type of light skinned actress stealing roles better suited for darker women. I don’t submit for things that I *know* aren’t a fit for me.

In the instance of Lovecraft, I applied for a casting for a 20-25 year old African American woman to play the younger version of a character in her wedding photo. No audition, just an online submission and booking

There was no mention of me being too light when I was caster nor when I went in for my fitting days before. And it wasn’t until I was in the chair that I overheard the muas discussing it

Even then, I thought “maybe they just meant a couple shades” I’m sure it won’t be much more than a tan. And then they just kept painting me darker

So here I am, in the makeup trailer of a major network production with the lead stars of the show, and they’re putting me in blackface

Now as this was happening I had so many conflicting thoughts in my head. This is wrong. Why did they hire me. I should say something. What would I say? What would happen? If I hold up this production how much money goes down the drain. What will be my repercussions?

And y’all I’ve worked extras/background a couple times before. I normally just shut up, keep to myself, and do as I’m told when I’m told. Extras are like bottom of the barrel in the entertainment food chain so I feel like I normally move through sets as such. Like I’m not shit

Maybe I would have felt more empowered to speak up had I been in the extras holding and hair&makeup like I was used to, but here I am navigating a whole other side of the bts experience that I’ve never been in. I’m a little fish with the big guys. And I choked.

I didn’t say shit. I got very quiet and withdrawn and went through with the job like a coward. I was selfish and more concerned with the repercussions of my own career instead of doing what’s right and not participating in something that I KNEW was wrong.

Like y’all I be afraid to tell the nail lady when I don’t like something at the shop. I’ll be upset and keep to myself before I speak up. That’s always been something I’ve struggled with. It makes me so anxious to advocate for myself and I get walked over as a result.

These are excuses, but I feel if you know me, you’d understand that if I barely speak up in my day-to-day life, why I’d be absolutely terrified to do so and throw a wrench in the capitalist behemoth that is a major network production.

Some people took me saying I immediately went back to the makeup trailer for wipes after wrapping as me saying there was something wrong with being dark skinned and i wouldn’t dare risk losing my privileges going out into the world like that

But really I felt awful because I knew I was wrong and I didn’t want to cosplay the experience for a moment longer than I had to which is dumb because I still did it for the job. I felt like a fraud and imposter which I was.

I’d debated speaking up on the experience for so long and even when I saw the TikTok prompt of “what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen as a background actor” I wasn’t sure if I should go through with it, but it was honestly the craziest thing that I’d ever seen

Idk the true point of this thread. I think I just wanted to acknowledge the harm I’d done and kind of expound on it a little more than the couple of TikToks I made on the subject. It’s sparked a lot of conversation and I can’t shy away from my involvement when I brought it up

I do want to re-iterate that had I known what was required beforehand, I absolutely WOULD NOT have accepted the job. On set, in the chair, I was meek and passive and did not assert my agency as black women for the betterment of my darker sisters and for that I am sorry.

I’d have much rather I never stepped foot on set to be put in that position in the first place if the casting team had worked a little harder to find a darker actress that still matched the features of the actress as they claimed I did.

I will say it has been interesting to note the responses to this experience. There are many (rightfully) calling me out and there are so many who think I’m making a big deal out of nothing and as an actor, I should be okay with them changing my appearance to fit the character

I 100% disagree with those folks. Changing skin appearance for a vampire or alien is NOT the same as changing someone’s skin tone/features when you could have casted a better fit in the first place.

But yeah, the entertainment industry needs to do better. I need to do better. I didn’t show up in the way I should have, and again, I’m sorry for that.