@TheEllenShow when I do anything my mom disapproves of, she says "you'll get hepatitis and die", whether it makes sense or not #JCPcontest
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@TheEllenShow once my mom called target from inside of target because she couldn't find any workers. "hi, I'm in the shoe section!"#momismsThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheEllenShow Lil Bro to mom: He called me the 'e' word! Mom: The 'e' word? Bro: You know, 'idiot'! Mom: *chuckling* Well,if the shoe fits! - 1 more reply
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@TheEllenShow A while ago, I asked what suicide is. Mum said: "It's when you live in sewers with rats. Don't do it."#Momisms#JCPcontestThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheEllenShow & just for fun... A#Grammyism - 'Of course I've farted! Do you think I always smell like this!?' (On a packed subway no less) -
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@TheEllenShow my son 3yo, eating gummies and singing "I'm a little teapot" end of song pops a bear in his mouth "tip me over and eat me out" -
@TheEllenShow that's probably not Ellen and JCP material, though funny. We were in the car. I almost crashed I laughed so hard.
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@TheEllenShow I give my kids a choice. They can do _____ later or in a little while. They always choose the latter.#MomismsThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheEllenShow I misread your tweet and thought you were asking for 'mormonisms'.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheEllenShow I got another but it involves a close up of wang in a heart frame n a cannon in Mexico ps my mom told me she's pregnant today -
@Writemewrite: Mom is pregnant at 85? Wonders never cease! Pls hold her tight for me; I lost my dad, my anchor & sole parent, in March. -
@sugaree71 I am so sorry for your loss... -
@Writemewrite: Much gratitude and thanks...
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@TheEllenShow I buy expensive clothes @ the Goodwill, wash em, & tell my son I bought em @ the actual store. He thinks I washed the new out.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheEllenShow my gram often told me a story or help with homework and say "that could be right or I could be making that up."#MomismsThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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