Jess DweckVerified account

@TheDweck

Writer for the TV. Some melted cheese in a rubbery flap.

Joined December 2009
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  1. 4 hours ago

    I’d say we should try to get some of these people fired but you can’t be fired from the job “retiree whose kids never visit them”

    0:45
    Just a sample of the sad scene we faced at the Trump rally in Tampa. I’m very worried that the hostility whipped up by Trump and some in conservative media will result in somebody getting hurt. We should not treat our fellow Americans this way. The press is not the enemy.
    23 replies 42 retweets 448 likes
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  2. 7 hours ago

    Not sure why everyone’s freaking out. If someone starts to attack with a 3D-printed gun, just set aside 5-6 hours to make a 3D-printed Good Guy With a Gun. Problem solved!

    15 replies 191 retweets 1,521 likes
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  3. 7 hours ago

    Whoever’s writing the villains in this story needs to tone it down a little

    Paul Manafort owned a $21,000 jacket "made from an ostrich” according to prosecutors
    Show this thread
    30 replies 225 retweets 1,599 likes
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  4. 11 hours ago

    lolololol imagine caring about this

    75 replies 72 retweets 1,525 likes
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  5. 12 hours ago

    That NY Times piece telling people to stop calling racists racist begins with a false premise

    22 replies 94 retweets 703 likes
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  6. 16 hours ago

    “I love the outdoors.”

    77 replies 25 retweets 380 likes
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  7. Retweeted
    Jul 30

    Just a reminder that someone stole George W. Bush's debate prep book (and videotapes!) and sent it to the Gore campaign and they immediately turned all the materials over to the FBI

    707 replies 27,055 retweets 95,605 likes
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  8. Retweeted
    Jul 27

    If you think about it. People with glasses are literally paying to use their eyes. Capitalism is a bitch.

    1,303 replies 77,237 retweets 257,471 likes
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  9. 17 hours ago

    Yes I’m sure the guy who can’t handle stairs without clutching someone’s hand would stand up in a moving boat

    My new painting – “Crossing the Swamp” “Never give up. Never lower your light. Never stop till the swamp is dry.” – Jon McNaughton For a list of figures in the boat:
    38 replies 43 retweets 578 likes
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  10. 18 hours ago

    We only yell “Racist!” at racists, there are just a lot of them

    If you’re a white liberal whose goal is to foster a more equitable culture, you need to stop yelling “Racist!” at anyone who doesn’t see the world exactly as you do
    7 replies 54 retweets 766 likes
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  11. Jul 30

    I can’t believe the guy who devoted a whole segment on TV to laughing at Asian people in New York could be this racist

    Jesse Watters: Trump Wants the 'Best and Brightest' Immigrants, Not 'Some Guy’s Uncle from Zimbabwe' (VIDEO)
    4 replies 55 retweets 460 likes
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  12. Jul 30

    The real bargain of MoviePass was the friends we made along the way

    5 replies 24 retweets 302 likes
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  13. Jul 30

    I don’t think I’m asking for too much. I just want everyone to hate all the same people and things I hate.

    41 replies 129 retweets 1,338 likes
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  14. Jul 30

    Untie all the yachts

    "The Trump administration is considering bypassing Congress to grant a $100 billion tax cut mainly to the wealthy"
    72 replies 1,310 retweets 7,579 likes
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  15. Retweeted
    Jul 30

    In 8 days Democrat Danny O'Connor has a chance to make history in Ohio's special Congressional election, by flipping a seat Republicans have held for 35 years. We're sending 120,000 texts to get out the vote for Danny. Volunteer here: .

    110 replies 5,134 retweets 6,991 likes
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  16. Jul 30

    Okay but if someone tries to order a gay cake in space, will it be the jurisdiction of the Religious Liberty Task Force or Space Force?

    103 replies 1,405 retweets 8,631 likes
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  17. Jul 30

    “Religious Liberty Task Force” sounds like what Taliban members probably call themselves

    38 replies 537 retweets 3,192 likes
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  18. Retweeted
    Jul 30

    has Tom Cruise seen a movie?

    1,004 replies 11,241 retweets 70,311 likes
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  19. Jul 30

    “I hope that candidate’s love of Bigfoot porn doesn’t distract from his being a white supremacist” is now a thing that can be said out loud

    12 replies 182 retweets 1,048 likes
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  20. Retweeted
    Jul 30

    I can’t believe there's a politician who’s secretly into Bigfoot Porn and it’s not Ted Cruz

    174 replies 2,026 retweets 16,787 likes
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