Women tend to be happiest when they feel USEFUL to the people they love. They also want to feel TRUSTED with inside information about how you’re doing and what your challenges are, again so they can HELP and BE USEFUL. VULNERABILITY indicates huge trust.
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If you’re geared 100% toward earning approval from others out of constant fear of abandonment then sex becomes a performance based on fear of doing it wrong and the other person abandoning you. Orgasm can be almost impossible under those conditions.
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Female arousal is based on emotional intimacy and perceived security, which attachment issues undermine. And if all her sex is a performance there’s no focus on her own body, it’s on maximizing approval earned by boosting her partner’s pleasure.
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Women shackled by the belief they’re innately unlovable and have to earn approval by being perfect are gonna have a pretty terrible time ever achieved orgasm because they're too distracted. And frankly, losing control is frightening and embarrassing. What if they orgasm wrong?
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There’s a whole lotta people worrying about things they can’t change, And ignoring things they can.
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Mental health is all around us. If you struggle with personal issues you certainly don’t have to speak out. But remember that people around you may be suffering in silence and feel all alone in their struggles. Sometimes sharing your own story encourages others to get help.
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It’s not your job to convince people of the truth. Sometimes they will hate you for speaking it. That’s not about you, it’s about them. Sometimes your only job is to plant the seed. When they’re ready, they’ll remember. But don’t burden yourself. You’re not everyone’s savior.
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It's okay to have days where you're not productive. Healing days are incredibly valuable. Enjoying the life you've built encourages you to work hard later. The problem comes when you tell yourself you need a year of healing days in a row. Find a realistic balance point.
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Most people try to heal burnout by taking a vacation. But they come back just as miserable as when they left, if not MORE miserable. Research shows that overusing one part of the brain causes burnout. Stimulating a different part is often what heals you. Give it a try.
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Most people aren't ready for their dreams to come true.
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If you're constantly run into the ground by dramatic people who control your life, They can't control you unless you allow it. You're the one giving them the power. What are you getting in return? What are you willing to give up to take back that control?
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Most people who grow up in broken family systems don't realize their family is unusual. They adopt horrible behaviors that help them survive the broken system. Then they go out into the world and seek out people who match their behaviors. Then they build a second broken family.
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Most women who have to see their ex get dressed to the nines to show him what he's missing. Then she wonders why he's always trying to crawl back into her life. Don't do this. Dress like a slob. Forget bathing for a day or two. Disgust him. Watch him avoid you like the plague.
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You are better than your worst mistake that you still measure yourself by. The fact that you're still bothered by it proves you're better than you were then.
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You control exactly one half of every relationship. The best thing you can do at the start is make sure both sides operate in good faith. Good faith can help you overcome any problem together. Learn how to differentiate between good and bad faith actors for next time.
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