Most women with attachment issues ramp their sex drive through the roof at the start of a relationship and then nosedive the moment it becomes secure. And they hate themselves for both sides of it.
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A husband and wife with attachment issues can usually survive until they have kids. Then the wife sees the kids struggling without a healthy bond to their father and begins treating him like a threat to "her kids". He usually has no idea why she's slowly turning on him.
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A damaged man is incapable of love because he does not believe love will be freely given, only earned through works. He seeks false intimacy in lust and mistakes sex for acceptance. These men seek insecure women who believe themselves unlovable and who use sex to earn approval.
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Most young women who experience rape only recover when they accept that the rape was actually nothing personal, because the attacker was incapable of loving attachment and did not view them or anyone else as a human and only as an object. Most are shocked, then relieved.
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Most women are disgusted when they finally learn how the male sex drive works. Then they test to see if it's true, and when it is, they start to like the new power they hold.
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Women are insecure about details. Men don't notice details. Men notice body parts No man ever said, "Hey, one of her nipples is slightly larger than the other" But every woman knows which of her nipples is larger than the other and is terrified her partner will leave her for it
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Most women spend their time worrying about the man they love noticing imperfections that only another woman would ever notice. Few women realize that you cover imperfections by distracting men with accentuated body parts. Flaunt what you've got. He won't care about the rest.
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Too many people reading this thread have no idea what "attachment" means It's the most important thing in a human life, but our society has downplayed it so hard that we don't even teach it anymore Ancient societies made it their main focus because attachment is life itself
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Most people would be better off breaking their phone in half and never touching the internet again Teen depression and suicide rates skyrocketed in 2007 when the first iPhone released But most people will take a pill and binge Netflix instead
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Most anxious women are so preoccupied with worrying what their husband or boyfriend expects that they forget to ask him. Of the few who do think to ask him, most believe he'll be too nice to tell the truth. Those who do ask usually can't believe his answer.
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Insecure men spend so much time trying to please their wife they way they pleased their own mother that they force their wife into a mother role. Then they wonder why she doesn't initiate sex anymore.
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Many insecure women would rather open an OnlyFans account and get validation from strangers than have a brutally honest conversation with the man they love about what he expects. Because strangers just want her body. And most insecure women don't believe they're worth loving.
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I've got a ton of people asking me to define attachment. It's my clinical specialty. Here's an excerpt from one of the books I've written on the subject. There's a section in here titled "What is attachment?"https://adamlanesmith.com/2020/12/02/insecurity-and-attachment/ …
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Most wives in bad marriages who resent their husbands are really angry at the emotional pain their kids endure in the relationship with their father, the husband. Most husbands would be better off fixing things with their kids first. Most husbands will never realize this.
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Most men have absolutely no idea how to talk to their wife. Their wife says, “Talk to me!” and he answers, “What am I supposed to say?” Women develop emotional intimacy through talking. Men don’t know how to do this.
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Women tend to be happiest when they feel USEFUL to the people they love. They also want to feel TRUSTED with inside information about how you’re doing and what your challenges are, again so they can HELP and BE USEFUL. VULNERABILITY indicates huge trust.
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Most people have no idea what "emotional intimacy" even means.
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OnlyFans is popular because actresses can provide the ultimate digital girlfriend experience to men desperate for love and sexual approval. Male customers offer the actresses concrete financial assistance and thus feel like good providers in return for earned sexual attention.
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OnlyFans is psuedo-pairbonding. It's having a wife in your pocket who will give you sexual attention at the press of a button. Sending her money releases dopamine as a provider And she'll never press you emotionally or reveal your deepest secret: That you feel innately unlovable
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Our society obsesses over one kind of health and ignores others. “Whoa don’t swallow that laced ecstasy, your dealer’s not wearing his COVID mask.” “But Sarah, I cant smash strangers in the bathroom SOBER.” And we treat this thinking as normal.
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Some people actually believe you must have sex with someone before you marry them to make sure it's good sex. As if sexual behavior is innate and not cultivated through deep communication and sharing of needs. These people want physical intimacy without emotional intimacy.
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So many have their first panic attack and believe it’s a heart attack instead.
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An issue with insecurity and anxiety is often an issue with principles.
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Post-traumatic stress is intensely real, but so can be Post-traumatic growth. Healing allows you to harness your experiences for strength.
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Humans structure music according to their mother’s heartbeat from the womb. Slow music makes us tired because slow heart rate means sleeping, and fast music in action movies makes us feel something is about to happen because she experiences a surge of adrenaline with fast beats.
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If you’re geared 100% toward earning approval from others out of constant fear of abandonment then sex becomes a performance based on fear of doing it wrong and the other person abandoning you. Orgasm can be almost impossible under those conditions.
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Female arousal is based on emotional intimacy and perceived security, which attachment issues undermine. And if all her sex is a performance there’s no focus on her own body, it’s on maximizing approval earned by boosting her partner’s pleasure.
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Women shackled by the belief they’re innately unlovable and have to earn approval by being perfect are gonna have a pretty terrible time ever achieved orgasm because they're too distracted. And frankly, losing control is frightening and embarrassing. What if they orgasm wrong?
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There’s a whole lotta people worrying about things they can’t change, And ignoring things they can.
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Mental health is all around us. If you struggle with personal issues you certainly don’t have to speak out. But remember that people around you may be suffering in silence and feel all alone in their struggles. Sometimes sharing your own story encourages others to get help.
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