When you’re done with the whole worldpic.twitter.com/zPn55cmxKf
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All I've got left is therapy jokes Therapist: What do we say to our loved ones as they get to know us better? Client: You’re in the jungle, baby, you’re gonna die. Therapist: No.
Client: This is my therapy porcupine. He’s practice for when I get in a relationship. Therapist: But it’s impossible for you to get close to him without pain. Client: [sobbing] That’s my type.
Therapist: And what do we do when we see this many red flags in a new partner? Client: Wear green so we accessorize together. Therapist: No.
Therapist: And what do we say when we realize we have feelings for someone? Client: Come, o sweet meteor of death, and cleanse this wretched earth. Therapist: No.
Therapist: “If you want to continue feeding your addiction, you’ll need to fight for it.” Client: “You mean I need to assess the cost in my life and decide what I’ll give up for it?” Therapist, donning a helm: “No.”
Therapist: What should you do when someone insults you? Client: I congratulate them on being an excellent judge of character. Therapist: No.
Therapist: What do we say when we’ve made an honest mistake? Client: Oh no, who started this mysterious gasoline fire Therapist: No.
Therapist: What are some fun activities you can do to relieve stress? Client: The universal drinking game. You take a shot whenever you’re not happy. Therapist: Hold on, let me buy some stock.
Therapist: I like to foster open communication with my clients and maintain the feeling that we’re equals in this office. Client: Sounds good. So how long will this treatment take? Therapist: I’ll ask the questions here.
Thanks mate 
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