Unpopular opinion: I have very little sympathy for women who bang a dude for years and are then shocked to find out he’s a scumbag You picked someone who AVOIDS COMMITMENT and signaled for YEARS that you aren’t worth committing to What did you think was gonna happen?
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I’m not saying these women are bad people. I’m not saying being a scumbag is justified But if I cover myself in barbecue sauce, waltz into a lion den, and get my butt chomped by a hungry lion, I don’t spend years screaming about the injustice Own your naïveté and move on
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You don’t have to be ashamed. Just learn from your mistake If you had a fear of commitment yourself and that’s why you picked a scumbag afraid of commitment, fix your issue and pick better Stop covering yourself in barbecue sauce and stop playing in lion dens
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There are people who are worth your time and then people who aren’t Key indicator: The willingness to commit in a way that would be detrimental to just pick up and break it off at a whim Keeping the door open is a good sign of MAJOR ISSUES, also called a RED FLAG
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Something in you was okay with the arrangement that allowed such immediate shock Either fear of commitment, or secrecy, or insecurity, or belief that you don’t deserve better, or desperation to fill a void Find your weak link and fix it to stop falling prey to scumbags
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You don’t have to keep repeating this mistake. And don’t give a scumbag total control over how you feel now just because of how he mistreated you in the past Own your role and become powerful in your life. Stop letting life happen to you. Build relationships with intention
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Don’t hate the shark for being a predator, and don’t hate scumbags for doing what you allow Instead, DON’T TOLERATE RED FLAGS Use them as opportunities for discussion and clarity If the person doesn’t respond well, move on
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But don’t spend your life surrendering control over how you feel because you got blindsided by a scumbag Figure out why you were okay with all the red flags leading up to the “blindsiding” and fix your weaknesses Then you’ll weed out scumbags and attract healthy people
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And to clarify: a verbal agreement is not a commitment to someone whose integrity is based solely on feelings
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