Unpopular opinion: I have very little sympathy for women who bang a dude for years and are then shocked to find out he’s a scumbag You picked someone who AVOIDS COMMITMENT and signaled for YEARS that you aren’t worth committing to What did you think was gonna happen?
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Something in you was okay with the arrangement that allowed such immediate shock Either fear of commitment, or secrecy, or insecurity, or belief that you don’t deserve better, or desperation to fill a void Find your weak link and fix it to stop falling prey to scumbags
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You don’t have to keep repeating this mistake. And don’t give a scumbag total control over how you feel now just because of how he mistreated you in the past Own your role and become powerful in your life. Stop letting life happen to you. Build relationships with intention
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Don’t hate the shark for being a predator, and don’t hate scumbags for doing what you allow Instead, DON’T TOLERATE RED FLAGS Use them as opportunities for discussion and clarity If the person doesn’t respond well, move on
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But don’t spend your life surrendering control over how you feel because you got blindsided by a scumbag Figure out why you were okay with all the red flags leading up to the “blindsiding” and fix your weaknesses Then you’ll weed out scumbags and attract healthy people
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And to clarify: a verbal agreement is not a commitment to someone whose integrity is based solely on feelings
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End of conversation
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As Sherlock said to Watson "You know what she was when you chose her".
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