“Wow Adam, you and your wife are the PERFECT couple!” Pfff, no. What we are is blunt communicators. We used to fight like idiot teenagers, but we fixed our individual issues, unified around a life mission, and swore to communicate honestly. You see the results of hard work.
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That looks like me stepping into the biblical husband role: Setting a mission, defining the goals of our team, and correcting team members who stray from that mission. And my wife stepping into the second-in-command role, the first mate who runs the troops and manages the ship.
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We’ve got a defined mission statement and target for the distant future. All runs according to that mission. And anyone who threatens that mission gets talked to, hides back, or corrected. Myself included, with full accountability even as leader. Each person embraces their role.
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People enter marriage thinking it’s all about feelings, set no goals, and keep an individualist mindset versus a partnership mindset. They want two leaders with opposing ideas. Everyone does their own thing and drifts apart. Not us. 12 years and getting stronger every day.
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People hear biblical words like “submissive” and assume it requires a wife to be passive and silent. HA! If your wife stays quiet as you drive your family off a cliff, she’s not doing her job. Full accountability. She shouldn’t defy you, but she should challenge your weakness.
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Women don’t trust modern men because they’re weak and prevaricating. They set no mission beyond making her happy. They defer to her & force her to be the decision maker all alone, which is huge pressure. There’s no future goal beyond “being happy” and the marriage is 100% emotion
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The bar is lying on the ground, folks. Rise up and make decisions. Get your wife’s input and build a long-term mission. Define the goals of your marriage. Communicate as blunt as a sledgehammer. Lead her with grace and compassion and wisdom, and be attentive to her needs.
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Just read your Bible. This was all laid out for us millennia ago. There’s a reason this system endured so long while our modern system is crumbling apart after 60 years of “MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT THE FEELINGS, HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE, JUST TAKE YOUR PILLS”
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Don’t believe me? Need to hear it from a guy with nine kids and an iron-clad marriage?
Let @Rugged_Legacy teach you how to build a marriage that lasts through anything.https://gumroad.com/a/553677939/xHJhF …
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