Skip to content
By using Twitter’s services you agree to our Cookies Use. We and our partners operate globally and use cookies, including for analytics, personalisation, and ads.
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • About

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheBrometheus's profile
Adam Lane Smith
Adam Lane Smith
Adam Lane Smith
@TheBrometheus

Tweets

Adam Lane Smith

@TheBrometheus

Father. Husband. Catholic. #1 Amazon Bestseller. I write the best heavy metal fiction on the planet. FREE BOOK & FREE COURSE on my list http://eepurl.com/dur-jb 

Wisconsin, USA
adamlanesmith.com
Joined February 2013

Tweets

  • © 2021 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Imprint
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    1. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 12 Aug 2020
      • Report Tweet
      • Report NetzDG Violation

      Therapist: What do we say to our loved ones as they get to know us better? Client: You’re in the jungle, baby, you’re gonna die. Therapist: No.

      7 replies 10 retweets 116 likes
      Show this thread
    2. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 12 Aug 2020
      • Report Tweet
      • Report NetzDG Violation

      Therapist: What do we say when someone makes us feel vulnerable? Client: “Go suck-start a chainsaw”. Therapist: No.

      1 reply 2 retweets 39 likes
      Show this thread
      Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 12 Aug 2020
      • Report Tweet
      • Report NetzDG Violation

      Client: This is my therapy porcupine. He’s practice for when I get in a relationship. Therapist: But it’s impossible for you to get close to him without pain. Client: [sobbing] That’s my type.

      1:56 PM - 12 Aug 2020
      • 7 Retweets
      • 58 Likes
      • El Diablo de Mexico Vickie Lady Papist 🤰 Overman Wisdom Dedicating Ruckus Brian Ahuja Thor Dunn DeplorableAl🇺🇸🇬🇧🇦🇲🇸🇴 TheBogeyMan
      2 replies 7 retweets 58 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 12 Aug 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Therapist: And what do we do when we see this many red flags in a new partner? Client: Wear green so we accessorize together. Therapist: No.

          3 replies 4 retweets 53 likes
          Show this thread
        3. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 12 Aug 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Therapist: And what do we say when we realize we have feelings for someone? Client: Come, o sweet meteor of death, and cleanse this wretched earth. Therapist: No.

          2 replies 8 retweets 39 likes
          Show this thread
        4. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 13 Aug 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Therapist: “If you want to continue feeding your addiction, you’ll need to fight for it.” Client: “You mean I need to assess the cost in my life and decide if what I’ll give up for it?” Therapist, donning a helm: “No.”

          2 replies 1 retweet 17 likes
          Show this thread
        5. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 13 Aug 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Therapist: What should you do when someone insults you? Client: I congratulate them on being an excellent judge of character. Therapist: No.

          1 reply 1 retweet 23 likes
          Show this thread
        6. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 13 Aug 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Couples therapist: What was your last fight about? Wife: He got drunk and called me fat. Therapist: Is that true? Husband: I guess it must be. After all, an elephant never forgets. Therapist, writing: Savage.

          1 reply 3 retweets 44 likes
          Show this thread
        7. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 13 Aug 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Therapist: What do we say when we’ve made an honest mistake? Client: Oh no, who started this mysterious gasoline fire Therapist: No.

          1 reply 2 retweets 29 likes
          Show this thread
        8. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 13 Aug 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Therapist: What’s a subtle way to let someone know they’ve crossed a social boundary? Client: You better check yourself before you wreck yourself, bitch. Therapist: Yes, but on a t-shirt.

          1 reply 1 retweet 21 likes
          Show this thread
        9. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 13 Aug 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Therapist: What are some fun activities you can do to relieve stress? Client: The universal drinking game. You take a shot whenever you’re not happy. Therapist: Hold on, let me buy some stock.

          1 reply 1 retweet 15 likes
          Show this thread
        10. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 13 Aug 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Therapist: What was your test score? Client: An 85. Whoa, that’s like a B, right? I passed! Wow, is this what success feels like? This feels great! Therapist: That’s a depression test. You need to come with me.

          1 reply 0 retweets 19 likes
          Show this thread
        11. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 13 Aug 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Therapist: I like to foster open communication with my clients and maintain the feeling that we’re equals in this office. Client: Sounds good. So how long will this treatment take? Therapist: I’ll ask the questions here.

          1 reply 0 retweets 14 likes
          Show this thread
        12. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 13 Aug 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Therapist: You’re on a first date and the other person says they want to know what you do for a living. What do you say? Client: So there I am, surrounded by orphans clinging to me as the chemical fire rages all around us. Therapist: No.

          1 reply 1 retweet 18 likes
          Show this thread
        13. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 13 Aug 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Therapist: What do we say when someone hurts our feelings? Client: Nothing a ritual dismemberment can’t fix. Therapist: No.

          1 reply 1 retweet 15 likes
          Show this thread
        14. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 13 Aug 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Therapist: What do we say when someone says they want to be in a relationship with us? Client: Welcome to the feces festival. Therapist: I’m using that.

          1 reply 1 retweet 12 likes
          Show this thread
        15. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 13 Aug 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Therapist: What do you say when your wife asks to talk about what you’re feeling? Client: You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here. Therapist: No.

          1 reply 0 retweets 11 likes
          Show this thread
        16. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 13 Aug 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Therapist: When you experience a severe anxiety episode, what’s the best thing you can say to yourself? Client, singing: Take me down to the trauma city where the grasses scream and we love self pity. Therapist: No.

          1 reply 0 retweets 15 likes
          Show this thread
        17. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 13 Aug 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Therapist: Next time you experience self-esteem problems about your weight, what do you tell yourself? Female client: At least I make the rockin’ world go round. Therapist: *guitar riff*

          1 reply 0 retweets 14 likes
          Show this thread
        18. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 13 Aug 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Therapist: What do we do when someone tells us they want to get to know us better? Client: Curiosity killed the cat, but I’ve got far darker plans for you. Therapist: No.

          3 replies 2 retweets 22 likes
          Show this thread
        19. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 13 Aug 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Client: I need a letter. Therapist: Okay. Client: For my new emotional support broadsword. Therapist: This is why I got my license.

          2 replies 3 retweets 30 likes
          Show this thread
        20. Adam Lane Smith‏ @TheBrometheus 10 Oct 2020
          • Report Tweet
          • Report NetzDG Violation

          Therapist: “You’re almost done with therapy so it’s time we discuss your fear of snakes.” Patient: “But I don’t have a fear of snakes.” Therapist, donning a snake costume: “Not yet.”

          1 reply 3 retweets 11 likes
          Show this thread
        21. End of conversation

      Loading seems to be taking a while.

      Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

        Promoted Tweet

        false

        • © 2021 Twitter
        • About
        • Help Center
        • Terms
        • Privacy policy
        • Imprint
        • Cookies
        • Ads info