The modern push to make insecure people “love yourself first” is pushed by people who give up on any chance of being loved by others. Loving yourself first becomes a fallback to those who’ve surrendered to self-loathing. People need to feel loved first to see their own worth.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus
Like your take... but when they say "love yourself first" are they saying to do not care about others people love? Sure, much better would be if someone is there to love them in a healthy way, but what if there's no one available?
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Replying to @DanielSamanez3 @TheBrometheus
Good question. Where do you find people?
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Replying to @hopecrolius @DanielSamanez3
Excellent question. Before connecting with people its best to learn about healthy boundaries, and learn a new definition of “normal behavior” that decent moral people will exhibit toward you so you don’t go on thinking exploitation, manipulation, and abuse are normal.
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The truth is that good people are actually all around and friendships can be simple to establish, but insecure people actively drive healthy people away and flee from those relationships because they’re certain they’ll be abandoned sooner or later for not being worth the time.
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Once a person learns what real relationships should look like and gets a working idea of boundaries they can find at least one friend anywhere. I usually recommend attending a class or group based on a shared hobby or religion so you instantly have something in common to discuss.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus @hopecrolius
Agree: "Once a person learns what real relationships should look like and gets a borking idea of boundaries..." But loving yourself first includes that. Considering your self worthy if self love can be the first step. Finding a way to allow others to reach you comes after that.
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Replying to @DanielSamanez3 @hopecrolius
That’s not what the research on the subject shows, or my years of work as a psychotherapist. This is my clinical specialty and the topic I’ve spent years studying, including writing two books on it. There may be some who overcome it that way, but the vast majority do not.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus @hopecrolius
That makes sense. You are saying that going that route is much harder. It's much better when someone is there loving you and you are able to let that love in you.
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I’d say for most that route is nearly impossible and defeats the purpose anyway since it often births vain people incapable of humility and giving genuine love. But there are always outliers.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus @hopecrolius
Yeap... psychopathy may overlap there...
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