The modern push to make insecure people “love yourself first” is pushed by people who give up on any chance of being loved by others. Loving yourself first becomes a fallback to those who’ve surrendered to self-loathing. People need to feel loved first to see their own worth.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus
Like your take... but when they say "love yourself first" are they saying to do not care about others people love? Sure, much better would be if someone is there to love them in a healthy way, but what if there's no one available?
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Replying to @DanielSamanez3 @TheBrometheus
Good question. Where do you find people?
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Replying to @hopecrolius @DanielSamanez3
Excellent question. Before connecting with people its best to learn about healthy boundaries, and learn a new definition of “normal behavior” that decent moral people will exhibit toward you so you don’t go on thinking exploitation, manipulation, and abuse are normal.
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The truth is that good people are actually all around and friendships can be simple to establish, but insecure people actively drive healthy people away and flee from those relationships because they’re certain they’ll be abandoned sooner or later for not being worth the time.
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Once a person learns what real relationships should look like and gets a working idea of boundaries they can find at least one friend anywhere. I usually recommend attending a class or group based on a shared hobby or religion so you instantly have something in common to discuss.
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But it must happen in that order or the insecure person will either shove away and flee from budding relationships, or destroy them with constant second-guessing until they exhaust themselves and confuse the other person.
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And people are drawn to healthy, loving people. Learning to give real love to others while maintaining healthy boundaries and the ability to say no makes a person enormously attractive to new friends.
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