The modern push to make insecure people “love yourself first” is pushed by people who give up on any chance of being loved by others. Loving yourself first becomes a fallback to those who’ve surrendered to self-loathing. People need to feel loved first to see their own worth.
-
-
But it must happen in that order or the insecure person will either shove away and flee from budding relationships, or destroy them with constant second-guessing until they exhaust themselves and confuse the other person.
-
And people are drawn to healthy, loving people. Learning to give real love to others while maintaining healthy boundaries and the ability to say no makes a person enormously attractive to new friends.
- Show replies
New conversation -
-
-
Agree: "Once a person learns what real relationships should look like and gets a borking idea of boundaries..." But loving yourself first includes that. Considering your self worthy if self love can be the first step. Finding a way to allow others to reach you comes after that.
-
That’s not what the research on the subject shows, or my years of work as a psychotherapist. This is my clinical specialty and the topic I’ve spent years studying, including writing two books on it. There may be some who overcome it that way, but the vast majority do not.

- Show replies
New conversation -
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.