Therapist: What should you do when someone insults you? Client: I congratulate them on being an excellent judge of character. Therapist: No.
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Therapist: When you experience a severe anxiety episode, what’s the best thing you can say to yourself? Client, singing: Take me down to the trauma city where the grasses scream and we love self pity. Therapist: No.
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Therapist: Next time you experience self-esteem problems about your weight, what do you tell yourself? Female client: At least I make the rockin’ world go round. Therapist: *guitar riff*
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Therapist: What do we do when someone tells us they want to get to know us better? Client: Curiosity killed the cat, but I’ve got far darker plans for you. Therapist: No.
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End of conversation
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You nearly killed me. I laughed right as I took a drink of the one refreshing Coca Cola I allow myself each week, and I blew it out my nose, causing me to choke so hard I nearly blacked out. Good times....
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A therapist cleared your sinuses and lowered your processed sugar intake in a single virtual session? I may havd to reconsider my opinion of therapy.
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Therapist: And what do we say when life disappoints us? Client: Called it! Therapist: No
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Therapist: And what do we say to the god of death? Client: Not today Therapist: *nodding* Not today
End of conversation
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