Men need physical affection beyond sex. But our society tells us any touch beyond sex or violence is the sole right of women and children. Grown men sometimes go years without physical affection, even something as simple as a hug. Some men cry even thinking about their need.
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This is not our natural state of being. Research shows immense medical benefits and mental health benefits associated with regular physical affection. This means men’s health may actually decline as a result of this need going unmet. Suicide epidemic, anyone?
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Men are afraid of appearing weak or effeminate, but they’re waking up to this need and breaking through barriers. My brother and I gathered with close male friends for his wedding. We hugged, grabbed hold of each other. We kissed each other fiercely on the temple when we parted.
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I grew up without physical affection, so I’ve made sure my 3 year old son gets it by the truckload. I got home after 5 days away. We watched his favorite movie, and he laid his head down in my lap and said, “Dad, please pet me.” We sat together for hours.
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Do these stories make you uncomfortable? Does the phrasing? The words? We’ve been the victims of a systematic campaign to portray every ounce of male affection as sexual and gay. Doesn’t matter if this was by gay activists or homophobes, the damage is done. We men are starving.
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Let this thread tell hurting men everywhere you are not alone. Your needs and cravings are normal. You need touch. YOU NEED LOVE. Start giving love to the men around you. Ask first, sure. But hug. Kiss. Squeeze. Just touch them. Longer touches are better for oxytocin release.
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I am convinced our society will remain profoundly sick until this desperate need is addressed. A man devoid of sunlight withers without vitamin D. A man devoid of physical love withers the same. Touch. Love. Give. Receive. Do not allow social conditioning to strangle your soul.
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They stole brotherhood from us.
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Precisely thus.
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