How to lose 5 lbs in 1 week: Get the flu.
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Replying to @CoachJoeHart
I.......I think I'll look for alternative options
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Replying to @hmestedpadre @CoachJoeHart
Too bad. This option will look for you.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus @CoachJoeHart
I've had the flu twice. I was pretty sure i was on my death bed the second time. Coincidentally I've had the flu shot twice. Same years. I'll take my chances with hand sanitizer and lysol spray.
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Replying to @hmestedpadre @CoachJoeHart
I have two toddlers. As far as receiving germs goes, I may as well lick the floors in public bathrooms.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus @CoachJoeHart
Oh, I'm very aware. Last week while cuddling with my daughter she sneezed straight into my mouth. I was like "crap" Luckily I didnt get sick lol.
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I...I see this and wonder how I will survive children......


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Adventure doesn't even to begin to describe parenthood. I wouldnt trade it for the world though.
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Wanna know what got me.....the story of how my cousins son made poop balls and...and played with them. Covered head to toe in poopic.twitter.com/wHSbxFz2gd
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Pretty mild by toddler standards.
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Yep. Just wait until you csnt figure out who's poop it is. Now you're starting to take it to the next level.
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Hint: It’s the neighbor’s.
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