How to lose 5 lbs in 1 week: Get the flu.
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Replying to @CoachJoeHart
I.......I think I'll look for alternative options
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Replying to @hmestedpadre @CoachJoeHart
Too bad. This option will look for you.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus @CoachJoeHart
I've had the flu twice. I was pretty sure i was on my death bed the second time. Coincidentally I've had the flu shot twice. Same years. I'll take my chances with hand sanitizer and lysol spray.
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Replying to @hmestedpadre @CoachJoeHart
I have two toddlers. As far as receiving germs goes, I may as well lick the floors in public bathrooms.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus @CoachJoeHart
Oh, I'm very aware. Last week while cuddling with my daughter she sneezed straight into my mouth. I was like "crap" Luckily I didnt get sick lol.
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I...I see this and wonder how I will survive children......


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Replying to @fiercelyfeminin @CoachJoeHart
When you have toddlers, EVERY kiss is the kiss of death.
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I've never been on guard for immune system in my entire life. Like when they're touching your face and it's all cute and funny, and then you remember everywhere they have put their hands and you know they didnt wash afterwards.
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And actual alarms begin ringing in your head
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As you fight back waves of panic and disgust, maintaining that fatherly smile as to not alarm them.
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(We are all gonna die) ”Yes sweetie that’s a nice unicorn” (one last hug before death takes us)
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