So, bit of a real talk for the moment. I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but I've never liked myself. I actually hate the person I am.
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Because of my self-hatred, I always assume everyone I talk to hates me as well, because how could someone like me when I can't even like myself? So to avoid being hated by others, I keep people at arms length.
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The few times I have tried getting close to people, I always have this feeling that they are only talking to me out of pity, that they secretly find me annoying and wish I would shut up. This always causes me to pull back and stop talking to them.
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I understand logically that some part of this is likely me pushing my own feelings onto other people. Sadly, logic and emotions have never really gotten along. I'd say they are like cats and dogs, but I know some cats and dogs who are pretty chill with each other.
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For 2020, I'm going to try to be a little kinder to myself and not push my thoughts and feelings onto others. This is my personal goal irrespective of my publishing goal. I might also try to be a bit more talkative, though it will probably only be on social media.
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Replying to @BrandonBVarnell
I’d be enormously pleased to speak with you more closely. I find you interesting. We don’t have to agree on every aspect or even understand each other at the outset to become friends. If you find yourself open to it, I’d be delighted.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus
I appreciate that. I think I will be more talkative. If you have a PS4, it might even be possible to chat while shooting zombies or something.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus
Ah. You probably didn't see my tweet. It's the very original Harem_Empire. I know. It's dumb.
0 replies 0 retweets 1 likeThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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