The shame, man. The guilt. The instant embarrassment. No one wants to be that unloving to their partner. No one wants their vicious side exposed. Couples who are ready to work stop and acknowledge they’re not who they want to be. Couples who aren’t ready blame their partner.
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You can acknowledge you’re part of a larger cycle. That you’re responding to hurt and provocation. But blaming your own chosen responses on someone else abdicates all responsibility and eradicated all hopes of teamwork in resolving the issue. Couples who do this rarely make it.
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I started out totally afraid of the fight in my office. Now I lead with "so what's the hot button issue between you?" And watch the sparks fly
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So much fun. You see what it’s really like at home when they’re not pretending for the stranger.
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