So just let my natural raging mirth escape?
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Waiter: "What would you like to eat tonight?" Me: "What varieties of dead cow do you offer?"
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This is why you go to a Brazilian-style steakhouse.
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I once ordered a Coke with extra caffeine. The waitress just looked at me like I was a quadratic equation.
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I have to remember to not refer to my kids as clones and experiments or spawn in front of new people
and to dial back my vocabulary, people think I'm being snobby with polysyllabic references when honestly I just really like words.
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God I can't wait to meet you because we both know neither of us is holding back.
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Server: "Are you guys doing good?" Me: "No, we're doing evil."
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