I've been fortunate enough to never encounter an alliance-forming passive aggressive person close-up, but I recognize the dynamic. Is interesting teaching my 10 year old to be forthright instead of passive aggressive.
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Replying to @ctlansdown @TheBrometheus
It's interesting because the reasons why are not simple; basically the case for forthrightness is "it may not work, but even if it doesn't it will generally fail better than being passive aggressive, which will work far less."
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Replying to @ctlansdown @TheBrometheus
But man was it hard to come up with examples of being passive aggressive when he asked for them (he asked for examples of both in the same situation to contrast them)!
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Replying to @ctlansdown @TheBrometheus
I suppose it's easy for those habituated to it, but I've spent so long operating under "if you want something, the answer may be 'no' but it doesn't hurt to ask, and if you don't ask you don't get".
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Replying to @ctlansdown
You sound like an enormously healthy person. Passive aggressive behaviors do not make logical sense to healthy people.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus
Btw, just a mildly interesting anecdote: a few years ago my wife and I took the trip to Paris she'd always wanted to go on. I speak about two dozen words of French, give or take. At shops, I'd begin by saying "Pardon, je ne parle pas Français" ("Pardon, I don't speak French").
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Replying to @ctlansdown @TheBrometheus
What amused my wife, who studied French for years in high school, was that I said that before asking the shopkeeper for what I wanted in French. But I wanted to set expectations, so if I made mistakes they'd have the right frame to guess my meaning.
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Replying to @ctlansdown @TheBrometheus
And I found the people in Paris very friendly and helpful.
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Replying to @ctlansdown @TheBrometheus
Since one shameless plug deserves another, I've actually got a video on the subject of admitting that one is weird:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJDa3oDitC8 …
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Replying to @ctlansdown @TheBrometheus
But the short, short version is that if one open with honestly and without exaggeration admitting one's faults, the worst a person can do is agree with you, and no one can stand to agree with someone they dislike for long. :)
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Replying to @TheBrometheus
Have you seen the "top 100 things I would do if I were evil overlord" list?
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