Ask a man if he’s honorable. “I think so.” Ask why he thinks so. He’ll rattle off lists of obedience, to the law or his loved ones. Stay silent in response, and he’ll make blurt out an acknowledgement of where he’s falling short and then say “But I try my best.”
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A few men will look stunned and say, “I have no honor.” Ask what they’re going to do about it and they look confused, devastated. Men cannot respect themselves or live at peace when they know they live without honor. It’s a biological prerequisite for mental health.
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So where do they go to learn it? Who’s teaching about it? When they’re want to be better, how do they do it? Internal codes can help some, but not all can puzzle it through so easily. Who’s teaching you? Where did you learn? Do you even know what honor is yourself?
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If no one is talking about it or teaching it, how do we as men get better? How do we fix the spiraling drug problems as men numb themselves? How do we fix the suicide rate as men surrender to despair? Honor is at least a significant piece of this, men living without self-respect.
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Any discussion on helping men and healing men’s mental health must include (if not begin with) honor. Current socialization states that men are born honorless dogs who feed on women their entire lives without empathy or moral scruples. Are you raising your boys this way?
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What are you doing to fix or maintain your honor? Who keeps you accountable? Who checks you when you slip and helps you atone? What are you doing to teach honor to other men and enforce the standard? Do you let everything slide and watch your own family plunge into despair?
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Do you live by honor, or is it a nice idea to daydream about as you live a life of lies and endless compromises? Do you have honor? Are you an honorable man? If not, fix it. You can’t live that way. You aren’t living. Just surviving. Be honorable.
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Did you ever read The Prince of Foxes? Pulp fiction was so good in 1947.
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I haven’t read that one, but pulp used to be phenomenal. I do my best to write in that old style.
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