Me discovering a lot of men had shitty moms.
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Opposite for me. My mother used affection to program my behavior. She admitted to intentionally withholding it when I was neediest because it hurt her feelings to see me that way. Only by acting happy and funny would I deserve it.
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First I had to hate it and her enough to escape the system. Then I had to program myself to treat affection as a serious threat to my wellbeing in order to handle existing without it.
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