A damaged man is incapable of love because he does not believe love will be freely given, only earned through works. He seeks false intimacy in lust and mistakes sex for acceptance. These men seek insecure women who believe themselves unlovable and who use sex to earn approval.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus @OffTopicButGoOn
Can you elaborate on only earned through works? Having difficulty understanding that part
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Replying to @blthinks @OffTopicButGoOn
Someone with attachment issues believes deep down there’s something wrong with them others can see but they can’t. They just know they’ll be abandoned if they ever open up. They’re innately flawed and unlovable. So the best they can hope for is to earn love by being perfect.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus @OffTopicButGoOn
They feel pressure to never make a mistake because then people will suddenly see that flawed part of them and abandon them. So they earn love by being overly romantic, or obsessively devoted to their partner’s pleasure in bed. The goal is to overwhelm them with pleasure.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus @OffTopicButGoOn
But the real goal is gratitude. “If I make them happy enough and fix all their problems they’ll be so grateful they’ll never abandon me.” This is why a person with attachment issues tends to gravitate toward people who are so messed up they’ll never run out of problems to fix.
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Replying to @TheBrometheus @OffTopicButGoOn
Thank you for explaining so eloquently
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You’re very welcome. Thank you for asking.
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