There’s a principle in writing fiction which also applies to developing emotional intimacy. People connect to characters with clear goals. The characters need obvious reasons to struggle. Seeing the reasons helps us believe they’re real and makes us connect to them.
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When setting up new relationships, a great game to play is the I Want Game. Pick a topic. Say “I want...” and define your goal for that topic. Then the other person does the same. Afterward you switch and they pick a topic and start the “I want” cycle. This helps you connect.
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Get out there and start defining your needs, wants, and goals. The people around you will finally understand you, you’ll connect better with others, and you just may find people jumping to help you now that they see you have a goal.
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