People agonize over who they “really are.” They claim no one “knows the real me.” The good and bad news is that who you are is reflected in your decisions. Regardless of what you think and imagine on the inside, your decisions determine who you are. Make decisions, shape self.
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Decisions reveal a person’s inner principles for what they truly are. You may tell yourself you’re a virtuous and loving person, but your decisions are where the truth comes out. If hedonism or fear control every major decision, you aren’t living to your principles.
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This is bad news for some, but also good news. You don’t need to outweigh a lifetime of choices to become a person of virtue and principle. Every decision presents a life-changing opportunity to change who you are, for good or ill. Every decision is a defining moment.
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You will make poor decisions. The second defining moment comes after those, what you do when confronted by your lack of principle. Do you face up to it and make things right? Or sink further into cowardice? When the chips are down, when principles matter, who are you?
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Don’t know what your principles are? Ask yourself what 3 or 4 virtues you’d like to stop compromising on. What would make you respect yourself? What makes you respect others? Write these principles down.
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Then at every decision thereafter you ask how best to live to those principles. Not what would make people happy. Not what would avoid a fight. Not what would be easiest or most pleasurable. What would preserve your principles? Then do that regardless of consequence.
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No more guessing and wondering and worrying. No more frantically planning things out in the shower. No more spinning thoughts. No more desperate fear of doing the wrong thing and causing problems. Live to your principles. Explain them aloud. Never compromise them.
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Others who are angry at you for explaining and holding to your principles are your enemies. Disregard them and continue holding with your principles. Others who respect your stand will be drawn to you and will deepen your support network. Be unafraid and allow the culling.
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This is the path to becoming a person of virtue and principle. This is also how to diminish fear and misery in your life and attract healthy friends and partners. Go forth and let your principles guide every decision.
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